Open Poetry #8 |
Safely in Dreams |
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Safely In Dreams If I hand you my heart, Would you keep it from harm? Would you nurture and guard it, Hold sheltered and warm? If I offer my love, Would you shield it from loss? Would you treasure it always; Defend at all costs? If I gave you my soul, Would you handle with care? Would you cherish, protect it, From all that is there? Or would my weak heart Fill with sorrow and pain, For the things that it seeks Are just simply in vain? And what of my love, If not sweetly revered; Would it crush all I know, And dissolve me to tears? And would my soul bared, With it's infinite trust, Be a target for anguish For simply 'tis lust? No, I'll hold myself deeply Though lonely it seems, And keep you in fantasies ... Safely in dreams. /Kit McCallum |
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© Copyright 2000 Kit McCallum - All Rights Reserved | |||
brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
No, I'll hold myself deeply Though lonely it seems, And keep you in fantasies ... Safely in dreams. hard questions kit, I find myself relating a lot to the last verse. Then I think of the Garth Brooks song "the dance", "I could have done without the pain but then I would have missed the dance." THis has to be the only time I will ever quote Garth, but he has a point. Dreams are safe but do not compare to the real thing, which in the end is worth the pain or so I have been told. Anyway ranting here, a wonderful poem, excellently written. A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Kit~ I agree totally with Brian, I know that song..... yes, it's always worth it to me. -SEA Live,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
A wonderful, sensitive poem this, Kit... Very well written... regards, sudhir |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Brian: I know the song Brian, good thoughts there, and what I was trying to somehow get out in this poem ... kind of "third person" this one ... thanks. ~SEA: I agree Sea ... worth the pain, as you say. ~Sudhir: Thanks for the lovely remarks Sudhir! Much appreciation to all, /Kit |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Kit* You put your heart into this piece and it shows so beautifully, regrets of not trying are often harder to live with than pain of loss though. Take care, thank you for sharing this...I understand this place completely~ |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I know Kit! Very nicely expressed. I hope you find what you're looking for... Elizabeth I'm grabbing my hat and coat I'm leaving the cat a note Quick call me a ferry boat-getting out of town! |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Kit, Very thouhgt provoking piece here. I too understand completely where you are coming from. It is not easy to answer the questions you have asked. Thank you for sharing this. LW Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Wonderful, Kit! Denise |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Thank you Butterflies, Elizabeth, LoneWolf and Denise! This is not one of my typical topics, trying a little third party writing, stretching the pen a bit ... but still been there, done that myself at some point in time, hopefully enough to get across the "try or don't try" dilemma ... Much appreciation to all, /Kit |
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notlikely2 Member
since 2000-06-16
Posts 308UK |
I understand how you feel, but there is a lot of truth in the old saying..."Tis better to have loved and lost............." After all, if we risk our love, then at least we will have some good memories, but if we don't ...then all we will have is regret at not trying.....I say go for it! Love is like the measles.....the older you are, the harder it hits you! |
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Lonelypoet Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 123Conklin,NY,USA |
Great poem, I don't know what to say about it other than it had a nice flow and a deep meaning. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
A lovely piece, Kit, and the last stanza brought it all together masterfully. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
WOW LOVE this one... very well written Kit, love the emotions expressed in this one nice to see you trying new things and making it look like second skin I might add jm |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Just content to dream eh? Well it is a very good poem for dreamers. Those wonderful fantasies inside dreams, too bad we coul'nt make them come true. |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
This is a great piece it almost seems like a prayer, situations like this always bring to mind the old saying Feint heart n'er won fair maiden, but life ofter isn't that easy Wonderful work Olias |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
This poem is superb. It's meaning is so tender and romantic, and the poem itself so well written right from the heart LOve it LIz |
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JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
This is just brilliant!!! Loved the words you used.....and i knwo how it feels to be scared to put you trust in someone....what will do with the knowledge of your feelings...... Great work!!! Julie :) |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Beautiful writing, my friend. Yes, dreams are sweet, but reality will be much sweeter. If you don't let this person know how you feel, you'll regret it all of your life. I told a guy how I felt, and it didn't really work out. But I never regretted it, and I never have to play "what if". Well, there's my screwy advice! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Kit, I've always enjoyed the poems you've wrote Somehow this one is at the tops in my votes Coco |
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