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Open Poetry #8
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ashley cain
Junior Member
since 2000-05-12
Posts 30
Texas

0 posted 2000-06-15 10:36 AM


Stupid little wannabe sex symbol
walks out of a salon
Platinum blond hair blowing
to and fro
wondering where else to go
got herself a push-up Bra
and mini-skirt
at some Slut Shop
and wants to show off her
Bod
knows a good lookin' man
with a
Cool Hot Rod
Typical Teenage Girl
tryin' to find a life
Well there's a find line
between That and what she's
doin'

Sooner or later she's gonna
be screwin'
with a man
the man
with the Cool Hot Rod

Let's just say
she's gonna be somewhere tonight
doin' something
that's not wery right


BUT HEY!
A MAN!
THE MAN
WITH THE COOL HOT ROD!

HE'S MORE IMPORTANT TO HER THAN FINDING
GOD!



 

© Copyright 2000 Ashley Cain - All Rights Reserved
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
1 posted 2000-06-18 02:28 AM


Interesting, although I think it would be better off in the Adult forum.


Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau"



Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
2 posted 2000-06-18 11:37 AM


~Ashley~

This is pretty tame, so this piece should be left in the Open poetry forum.  Well said!
Although some words, were a little risque, I understand why you felt that you had to use them to prove your point.  Isn't it a shame that women, especially teenage girls go to such great lengths to find love or beauty.

I absolutely loved the last lines:

"But hey!
A man!
The man
with the cool hot rod

He's more important to her than finding
God"

This says so much, I am sure that even God himself is wondering this as he is shaking his head at some of us women.

Excellent piece! I wonder if Brian and I have started something with our poetry?  
If so, great, we all need to talk about this important issue and the issues related to it.

If you have time, please read:
"Candy Heart" by Brian Madden
"Maybelline Eyes" and "Prisoner" By Me

Take care,
Melissa Honeybee


[This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 06-18-2000).]

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
3 posted 2000-06-18 12:27 PM


I don't know I never liked to tone things done, I perfer to show and see the extremes.
but I loved the last line
"HE'S MORE IMPORTANT TO HER THAN FINDING
GOD!"

a great poem, well spoken. and as Melissa said in her response it is an impoertant issue. I have always tries to stay through myself but it sometimes means isolating myself from large groups. But the few friends I have are true and I trust them with my life. anyway again a great poem Ashley. I think we should start a Discussion in philosophy 101 on this topic. In fact...
I might as well.

------------------------
"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

E.E Cummings.

"Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth." Pablo Picasso

"We Irish are too poetical to be poets, we are a nation of brilliant failures" Oscar Wilde


-----






Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
4 posted 2000-06-18 12:31 PM


~Ashley

this was a powerful piece. actually
i am glad you didn't tone it down.
i think it drives home your point.
excellent poem!
take care,
amy  

"Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is before you can meet again. And meeting again after a moment or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends."

"Fate exists but it can only take you so far,
Because once you're there
It's up to you to make it happen."




JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2004-09-15 07:45 PM


Enjoyed reading this...James
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