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Open Poetry #8
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So I declare
| Open Poetry #8 |
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So I declare |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla 
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Rewrite and repost So I declare I start my day with forgiveness Eating and cleaning up the mess. Some days I just don't give a damn, But never the less here I am. Haunted by the blare of silence Without the strange of happenstance. I do not mind the days unclear Just the echo's that persevere. And days drag on each one by one They fill my time but never done. I am alone, alone each day. The silence never goes away. The quiet lulls me into sleep The sleep is never ever deep. I twitch and turn in dreams sojourn With fear itself my main concern. She is gone and I can't adjust If I were metal, I would rust. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Oh, Seymour, I can't tell you how the very last line reached out and grabbed me!! I'm no stranger to the feelings you put into this, and you did it extremely well...I love your writing!!! ~~ To Live is to Give ~~ |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Sy, this is magnificent! You've redone it nicely! So painful...and such a good ending...  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
oh...this is great..."nice work" just doesn't cut it, ya got me again...rust...yep. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sunny1, You know we are all rusting in a way. *L* Poet deVine, Thanks for the magnificent flower. *L* Serenity, Some times it feels like that. *L* |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Seymour~ So sweet are your thoughts. Rust indeed -  ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Marge, Indeed, indeed. *L* |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Nay dear sir, rust ye naught as is indeed your welcome lot to cast the question beg the verse and do it all, unrehearsed... You always put me away with your work, but you knew that, didn't you? Sunny ~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Helen Keller ~~~ When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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beowulf_26 Member
since 1999-06-29
Posts 183 |
love it. The ending just clinched it. Opinions are like bellybuttons: eveybody's got 'em and they're good for nothing. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
wow wonderful poem seymour. "A frog, it cannot comprehend the sea Nor me happiness" Paul Draper-Mansun |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Gosh, I hope your poet pen doesn't rust! And you're certainly not getting rusty. So keep them coming. I look for and enjoy your verses each day Liz |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sunshine, Well I know it now. *L* Beowulf, Thanks a million. Brian, Thanks for the WOW. Elizabeth, LOL Sy |
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