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Open Poetry #8
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Untitlled......suggestions welcome.
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Untitlled......suggestions welcome. |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA 
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Frustration surging Flowing through my veins I try to resist the hook you bait Trying to run away. Anger spouting Growing stronger.. larger Close to reaching out of control Trying to calm myself. Hurt stinging My pride taking the hit I defiantly hold my head up high Trying to hide the pain Regret showing My heart sorrowful My eyes shining with remorse Trying to plead with yours Alone again My soul stumbling The frightful loneliness spreads Trying to consume me |
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| © Copyright 2000 Tara Baldridge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Ooops.. sorry about the double post.. my computer froze and I must have hit it twice.... |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
rosepetals25... I like this one a lot..it's showing the full circle of love's emotions. How about...."Full Circle"? Anyway, this was great!! ~~ To Live is to Give ~~ |
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beowulf_26 Member
since 1999-06-29
Posts 183 |
Nice. I definetly like the choppy feeling and many of your phrases, especially "stumbling souls". If I did anything to revise it I would just make it a little more lucid. Opinions are like bellybuttons: eveybody's got 'em and they're good for nothing. |
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T McCoy Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 186 |
hmmmmmm......how about "here I am" or something like that. There's so much emotion to it. You didn't use a lot of words but I read it 4 times. I hope the inspiration isn't very recent. Tony  - we're stuck...inside our own machines...apparitions - Matthew Good |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
I liked this alot, read it twice. A title Mmmm how about "sorrows regret" or "sorrow is regret" ??? Anyway I liked it, hope you come up with a title soon Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Spirit2572 Junior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 15 |
How about just Emotion for a title? It sums up the poem pretty well.. you did a great job showing emotion we all feel during the battles of love. Spirit2572 |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Sunny1 - Thank you. You always say the the nicest things And thank you for your title suggestion. Beowulf, Tracie, and Spirit - Thank you all for suggestions and comments I will take them all into consideration.Tony - Fortunately, the inspiration is from the past. I was reminiscing about times left behind and this came out. As of right now.. I'm happy  . Thank you for you suggestion for a title. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Powerfully written Rosepetals! Your emotions flowed well within this verse. Well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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