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Open Poetry #8
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Shadow's Fire
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Shadow's Fire |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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I pledge in verse, bestow my troth. Words bellow breath unto my fire. Afix my eye 'pon distant star, in mournful weep of scorn's cruel hand. O Minstrel, may you come to sing, igniting spark, my soul, ascend... Withered hope of joy ascend! Pledge anew, restoring troth... Where is my voice? I wish to sing... casting fear to pit of fire. Even should be scorched my hand, consumed by promise of a star. Wonder-filled, in bath of star-- to leave this earth and yet, ascend! Love's fated fingers lace my hand, no ring to boast betrayal's troth... Warm my bones by stoke of fire. Play this harp, and hear me sing. A melody of time to sing, 'neath silver spot-light of this star, and glow in comfort, shadow's fire, no journey--but one step, ascend! Bound in ragged rope of troth, I work the knots to free my hand. No, not love, to grasp in hand. No, not song, to sweetly sing. Be still my mind of youthful troth, accursed night of darkened star. To will my chain--begone--ascend! Nature's nurture, coal of fire... I'll die then, for my lust of fire-- sacrificed by my own hand, by grace of angels, I'll ascend-- praising you, a joy to sing, resurrected by this star, that held my gaze, and begged my troth. And by this troth, of hunger's fire, I'll grasp this star, I'll stay my hand. Glory, be the song I sing, in symphony I do ascend. (sigh...and there it is...sure hope I got it right.) |
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| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Zion Junior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 33Melbourne Australia |
beautiful if it felt right to you then it is right |
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T McCoy Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 186 |
VERY beautiful... don't change a word serenity... Tony [This message has been edited by T McCoy (edited 07-27-2000).] |
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redheart angrybraids Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410honolulu, hawaii |
all i can say is that this is intense, -endurance in our lover, now of no choice, queen apon the stair, looking to afar. -once they realize women are the superior race, the world will be a lot lovelier place, -just kidding to- to any brother who might feel differently Kindly, Redheart Angrybraids |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
serenity does sestina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mmm mmm mmm i do so love when you play with poetry  awesome girl... nex time could you pick something a little harder.(hehe) man there are so many cool lines in here... take a nap baby..you earned it Im going back to sip on this some more.. tis oh so sweet ... *kisskiss* me loves ya... and I KNOW I KNOW... lots of E-s do I owe.. i need a secretary and a MUSE.. me |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
serenity, Oh yeah, you got it!!! This was beautiful!! I am on an emotional roller coaster here. Wonderful words. You have found the groove and may you bask in it always.  Lone Wolf Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
bravo, serenity ... a beautiful recitation ... i'd love to hear it read ... great work |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Wow Serenity......this was awesome writing...you've been expanding your poetic horizons.....stretch your wings o`poetic one!! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Wow! that is one intense powerful work of poetic art.....I'm not sure I've got it all but I do think it's a tremendous rendering of the mystique of love over life......Love this kind of thing. take care.....ethome.. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks everyone for reading...this one finally made it to post...deleted the last two...LOL...I'm grateful for your kindness as always, and I'm especially grateful that this is done with and I can quit obsessing...now, any pointers for a Canzone? (AAaaarrrrggghhh!!!!) Would beat my head against the monitor, but I really LIKE my monitor...rofl [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 07-28-2000).] |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Serenity~ Geeeeeez, girl ! No wonder you had a headache ! ! ! A beautiful job ... I wouldn't EVEN want to attempt one. I know you're proud of this and I'm proud for you ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
You definitely got it right. How many tylenol did you go through?LOL Congrats on your success you have done superbly. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Marge, thank god that's over!!!! And thank you so much for all of your gracious help when I panic---LOL--you really are a dear, you know that? Mark---thank you also for your kindness and encouragement--it means much! |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
excellent my friend. . . simply marvelous. . . superb. . . ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks to Sven, I thank you for being so generous, but YOU know that I will write another...lol...so I feel safe in thanking you, didn't want to be on the list of, the self-bumpers...but you too were patient while I grappled with this, and for that you receive serene hugs... |
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