Open Poetry #8 |
One Loon's Cry |
Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
One Loon's Cry… At water's edge I sit with you tonight The world is asleep, only you and I Remain to wonder at the pale moonlight And to feel the echo of one loon's cry. I see your breath, it's suspended in time So gentle and soft, like an angel's flight Golden hair brushed aside, your eyes meet mine But if the stars above could shine so bright. You lean in towards me, taking my hand Leaving a gentle kiss upon my cheek And I wonder if you can understand The love that I feel, which no words can speak. If I could just once, let you look inside Of me, to see the new joy in my life The love that you give, that feeling of pride The dream that someday you will be my wife. If you could just feel the way that I do A moment in time is all it would take To experience love, so pure and true But this point, in words, I never could make. So for now I will sit, with you tonight Two lovers alone, only you and I In silence, to gaze at the pale moonlight And to feel the echo of one loon's cry. |
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© Copyright 2000 Trevor Watson - All Rights Reserved | |||
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Man oh man Trew is that ever beautiful and romantic, just so well done...the way you make the reader realize how you are struggling to search for the right words to say....putting the Loon in there just caps off the setting beautifully...I had a cottage on a lake a few years back and there were two Loons that lived there and I found them to be so hauntingly beautiful.... I gave you a little click to state my thoughts. take care...ethome.. |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Trew, What a tender moment you have captured. I like the description of the second verse. rosepetals25 |
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Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
ethome~ Thank you so much. It is a struggle finding the words. Sometimes silence does speak volumes. At least I hope it does. Thanks for the 'click' too! rosepetals25~ Thank you! The second verse was the easiest to write for me. Funny how that works, huh? I appreciate you reading and taking the time to respond! |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Trew, this is so romantic.... lovely, and enchanting.... regards, Sudhir |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Trew~ Captivating title that drew me in. The silence held me entangled in the beauty of the night. Lovely work. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Trew, This brought back many memories of being on the lake in the early morning listening to the loon's cry. Very nice, glad I stopped by. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Trew, Ah, what a romantic scene you have painted. Words are never enough to fully express that which the heart holds dear. This was great writing my friend. You got my vote!! Lone Wolf Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
"Beautiful" is not enough to describe this or the feeling conveyed in this piece...stunning maybe is closer to the word I'm looking for...excellent writing~ |
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