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Open Poetry #8
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Trew
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Ottawa, Canada

0 posted 2000-07-27 10:33 AM


One Loon's Cry…


At water's edge I sit with you tonight
The world is asleep, only you and I
Remain to wonder at the pale moonlight
And to feel the echo of one loon's cry.

I see your breath, it's suspended in time
So gentle and soft, like an angel's flight
Golden hair brushed aside, your eyes meet mine
But if the stars above could shine so bright.

You lean in towards me, taking my hand
Leaving a gentle kiss upon my cheek
And I wonder if you can understand
The love that I feel, which no words can speak.

If I could just once, let you look inside
Of me, to see the new joy in my life
The love that you give, that feeling of pride
The dream that someday you will be my wife.

If you could just feel the way that I do
A moment in time is all it would take
To experience love, so pure and true
But this point, in words, I never could make.

So for now I will sit, with you tonight
Two lovers alone, only you and I
In silence, to gaze at the pale moonlight
And to feel the echo of one loon's cry.



© Copyright 2000 Trevor Watson - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2000-07-27 10:45 AM


Man oh man Trew is that ever beautiful and romantic, just so well done...the way you make the reader realize how you are struggling to search for the right words to say....putting the Loon in there just caps off the setting beautifully...I had a cottage on a lake a few years back and there were two Loons that lived there and I found them to be so hauntingly beautiful....

I gave you a little click to state my thoughts.

take care...ethome..

rosepetals25
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076
PA
2 posted 2000-07-27 10:46 AM


Trew,
What a tender moment you have captured. I like the description of the second verse.  
                      rosepetals25

Trew
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Ottawa, Canada
3 posted 2000-07-27 03:09 PM


ethome~
Thank you so much. It is a struggle finding the words.  Sometimes silence does speak volumes.  At least I hope it does.
Thanks for the 'click' too!

rosepetals25~
Thank you! The second verse was the easiest to write for me.  Funny how that works, huh? I appreciate you reading and taking the time to respond!  

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
4 posted 2000-07-27 03:14 PM


Trew,
this is so romantic.... lovely, and enchanting....

regards,
Sudhir

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-07-27 07:17 PM


Trew~
Captivating title that drew me in.
The silence held me entangled in the
beauty of the night.
Lovely work.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
6 posted 2000-07-27 07:22 PM


Trew,
This brought back many memories of being on the lake in the early morning listening to the loon's cry. Very nice, glad I stopped by.

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2000-07-27 10:19 PM


Trew,

Ah, what a romantic scene you have painted.  Words are never enough to fully express that which the heart holds dear.  This was great writing my friend.  You got my vote!!  

Lone Wolf


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
8 posted 2000-07-27 10:34 PM


"Beautiful" is not enough to describe this or the feeling conveyed in this piece...stunning maybe is closer to the word I'm looking for...excellent writing~
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