Open Poetry #8 |
An Ocean's Weep |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
My weary heart imprisons beast. In echo, does his cry prevail... Petition, now, my soul's release-- my weary heart imprisons beast. May Mercy shine love's light on me, an ocean's weep, of no avail.. My weary heart imprisons beast. In echo, does his cry prevail. |
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© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
So you heard it too huh? I thought it was just me.LOL This is so lovely and with so little words you have said so much. One to treasure. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Petition, now, my soul's release-- my weary heart imprisons beast. May Mercy shine love's light on me, an ocean's weep, of no avail.. ===================== is this like "cry me a river" did anyone ever tell ya your sooo sexy when your cryptic hehe *winkie winkie* me loves ya me |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
serenity, I glad that I came by to read this poem of yours. Such intensity, and describing words. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Mark--you are too sweet...and we are too in sync...ew...did I just say n sync? nevermind...lol Janet Marie---always way ahead of me...lol... thank you much me lovely... Now...was trying for a "Triolet"---I welcome all advice and criticism---gently, please. and an oops, ya got by me there Bill---I thank you so much for your kind attention... [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 07-26-2000).] |
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Ian Llewellyn ap-Griffith Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 197Cincinnati, Oh, U.S.A. |
I was quite taken with this piece. Your use of language and word order is superb. This is the first of yours that I've read, I will read more. Sing while you may |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Serenity~ Just LOVELY ! Don't care what you call it ... it's beautiful ! Love ya' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
serenity, This is wonderful.....love these lines..... My weary heart imprisons beast. In echo, does his cry prevail. I can tell your heart is not empty though, no echos here. Lone Wolf Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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T McCoy Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 186 |
how do you say so much with so few words? this is sooo passionate...glad I clicked! Tony |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
I really enjoyed this! I know nothing of Triolets! But wonderful job on whatever you did! It was beautifully written! ~Heather [This message has been edited by X Angel (edited 07-26-2000).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
oman...I thank you all so much...and after all of your kindness...well, hell, somebody LIE to me---tell me it's a perfect Triolet!!!afterall, who's gonna know? not me, that's fer sure...LOL...thank you so much! ((((((((((((Group Hug))))))))))))) |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
This is beautiful Serenity!!! I loved the way this flowed over....Powerfully done...with grace. Perfect.....though I can't be a critic |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
awesome! |
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