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Open Poetry #8
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My Song
| Open Poetry #8 |
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My Song |
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Gossamerwings Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 207 |
I sit here all alone Wondering where you have been. You stumbled in at half past four This mornin’ again. I watched you as you undressed And I saw all the signs I know what you’ve been doin’ I can read between the lines. My heart aches for us For what we once had How could our lovin’ Turn out so bad I sit here all alone As you paint the town red Trying to convince myself It’s all in my head I watched you as you undressed You broke my heart for sure To see that you had been out Making love again with her My heart aches for us For what we once had How could our lovin’ Turn out so bad? ©1999 GossamerWings Gossamerwings ;) |
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| © Copyright 2000 Gossamerwings - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Gossamerwings... Oh, I feel the ache in this one, and you put it into words so very well. I hope it gets better.... Love received is equal to love given! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
That is very sad and if there is any truth to it then there is no reason for you to stay. I can tell you right now that what you once had will never return if that is all the respect you are getting. I can tell by the words and feelings in this poem that you are way too nice to be used and that's what it is, BEING USED.. so sorry to see your heart abused like this.. take care.....ethome.. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I went thru this and it is terrible and I took care of the problem and I am glad its over...she is now gone permanantly...she was gone before but only temporarily...James |
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Gossamerwings Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 207 |
Thank you all for the wonderful comments but I did not go thru this myself,I only wrote about what I know goes on. Maybe it will help someone to come to that decision you guys spoke about. Thanks again for reading and commenting. Much appreciated!  Gossamerwings ;) |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Gossamerwings, This writing is lovely, sad but lovely. I'm glad that I stopped by to read this of yours. I'll definately be by again. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
wonderfully written, I am sorry for your pain. Take care "A frog, it cannot comprehend the sea Nor me happiness" Paul Draper-Mansun |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Glad it's not a 'personal' experience. This sounds like a song. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh, you expressed the torment and ache in this incredibly well Gossamerwings! I'm so relieved to know this was not first hand ... so terribly sad! Well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Gossamerwings Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 207 |
Bill, Brian, PdV and Kit... Thank you so much for your reply's to ' my song '. I enjoyed and appreciated them all.  Gossamerwings ;) |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Very sad poem. Glad it is not true to life for you. Good writing. LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I can hear this one to a nice little C&W melody........ |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
G.W.* I've never went through this either...but I think you captured the feelings, great writing~ |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
So glad this wasn't about you Gossamer, how well you have written about such a bad situation. Bonnie |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
Gossamerwings very beautiful yet so sad so often the ones that need love the most tend to throw it away upon another that doesn't care in the least one day he will understand love starts at home. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Gossamer, nice to finally see one of your poems. . . this one was sad. . .a story that too many know, I'm afraid. . . you've done well with this one. . . Looking forward to more from you. . . -------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Gossamerwings Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 207 |
Thank you all for the comments. All of you are such wonderful writers and I have been enjoying your works. Thanks for all the great reads and again for your replies here! Gossamerwings ;) |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Gossamer, this was so sad but written so lovely. Juls |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
Nice lyrics, could be a Dixie Chic's song. Anyway I just wanted to tell you good job! |
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Gossamerwings Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 207 |
Juls,Todd... Thank you both for your comments. Gossamerwings ;) |
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