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ma miller
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 806

0 posted 2000-07-25 10:26 AM

never a wind ...

the wind cries through near barren trees
   cleaning limbs of life's last bleeding vein
such a sting on my face, to peel back skin
   my mane, a flag stiffened by the stiffest
current comes whistling through my head
   clearing conscience and logic from thought
muscles burn from the lean into tempest's face
   gale blusters past Mercury's speeding pace
sight blurs and suddenly i am alone
   blackness surrounds me like an empty shell
never a wind to gust with such furious hell
   yet, your sweet fragrance on my hands still to find

M.A. Miller
07.25.00
< !signature-->

My calling before me, let quill be my offering;
For to be called poet, no greater gift to receive.

M.A.

[This message has been edited by MA Miller (edited 07-25-2000).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2000-07-25 11:30 AM

I liked the overwhelming pace of this--and then the sudden calm--very effective portrayal--and the language is true to the mood--well done mark...I enjoyed this alot.

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

2 posted 2000-07-25 11:35 AM

WOW----what a powerful read and the emotions are so overwhelming...well done my friend.

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

3 posted 2000-07-25 11:35 AM

Agree with Serenity completely...

jwesley

ma miller
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 806

4 posted 2000-07-25 02:13 PM

thanks serenity, Mark B., and jwesley ... i'm still working on focused simplicity ... making progress (i think) ... thanks again.

Meadowmuse
Member Elite

since 1999-12-27

Posts 3263

5 posted 2000-07-25 02:41 PM

"Focused simplicity" seems to have served you well in this piece...it is superb in image and emotion.

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

6 posted 2000-07-25 02:49 PM

I really liked the image of this... the winds stripping away everything but her scent...

never say never

ma miller
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 806

7 posted 2000-07-25 09:36 PM

Thanks for reading Meadowmuse and Paula ... imagery in simplicity seems to strike a chord ... i'm still after it ... thanks again ...

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2004-05-23 09:50 PM

awesome!

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