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Open Poetry #8
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2000-07-20 12:36 PM


Silver fingers of leaves;
Shadows in her hair.
Against her face, the tree's shape.
Rough bark of the trunk.

Lips gone forever.
Not to kiss -- just to speak,
To smile. To say goodbye again
With time's hands, or fists.

Eyes never to glow or blink,
Watch me grow, break,
Remake.

Hands never to hold me in.
Clutch and place on her a ring;
Guess it's not her thing.

Hair never to smell, to touch,
To brush, to braid, to lay against
Again.

Stained stainless steel.
I held in her explosion:
Ice, frost, stones,
But so cold.

No more poems but remorse,
Dried out by the sun.
Songs play their pain like rain;
The fire we became.

Now, now -- don't look.
Dusty pit of trash.
Burned to wisps, couplings broke
Smiling in the ash.


© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
1 posted 2000-07-20 12:57 PM


reads like a mournful song plays....very nice
the title is interesting

Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-07-20 01:12 AM


Lips gone forever.
Not to kiss -- just to speak,
To smile. To say goodbye again
With time's hands, or fists.

Eyes never to glow or blink,
Watch me grow, break,
Remake.

Hands never to hold me in.
Clutch and place on her a ring;
Guess it's not her thing.

Hair never to smell, to touch,
To brush, to braid, to lay against
Again.
===================
No more poems but remorse,
Dried out by the sun.
Songs play their pain like rain;
The fire we became.

Now, now -- don't look.
Dusty pit of trash.
Burned to wisps, couplings broke
Smiling in the ash.
==============
so much emotion...
so gently expressed
so sad, but no bitterness...
so perfect.
take care sweet poet squirrel
jm/bs


There are places inside our souls -
that have never been touched.
There are places inside our hearts -
that need to be loved this much.
~jm~

Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
3 posted 2000-07-20 01:44 AM


Awwww that was so sad but it was well written. You sure have a talent!

Sauni

Sauni :)

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2000-07-20 07:06 AM


Oh Mike, such mournful songs your pen sweetly writes ... sorrowful lyrics from the heart. Wonderfully penned.

Best wishes,
/Kit

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-07-20 07:59 AM


Mike~
I like it !

'Watch me grow, break,
Remake.'

I find a spark of hope - 'Smiling in the ash'
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
6 posted 2000-07-20 08:02 AM


Excellent work bsquirrel ahem Mike!

the final stanza really rounds off the beauty of the poem...

regards,
sudhir

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2000-07-20 10:36 AM


late as usual---that should have been my pen name--

This is gorgeous, and I felt the sting of remorse...

"With time's hands, or fists..."

I like that much.  Hugs to you Mike.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

8 posted 2000-07-21 02:15 AM


Thanks all. This poem will be special to me for a long time to come -- I composed it during a lunch break, then read it to two people. The look of awe and respect in their eyes made me think I might be meant for poetry after all.   thanks again.

Mike

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

9 posted 2000-07-21 01:00 PM


[quote of bsq]
"The look of awe and respect in their eyes made me think I might be meant for poetry after all."


you THINK you MIGHT be MEANT for POETRY??????
trust me baby...its in your veins...
and Id walk on those lips of mine to there
to actaully HEAR you read one of these...
I'd of course wear my butterfly slippers
on me lips LOL  
later YOU-ARE-A-POET-GATOR
me

ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806

10 posted 2000-07-21 01:07 PM


unique phrasing ... nice (sad) read without depressing me for the reat of the day ... thanks ...
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2000-07-21 02:05 PM


A wonderful poem!  I think you were made for poetry...I just read the proof!
JulieAnn
Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754
Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!!
12 posted 2000-07-21 02:12 PM


Wow this is deep and very very good...liked it much!!! As i do everything I've read by you.....   < !signature-->

Julie  




[This message has been edited by JulieAnn (edited 07-21-2000).]

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

13 posted 2000-07-21 11:29 PM


Yeah, yeah, Butterfly Slippers: point made. And to everyone else for replying, thanks. I'm glad I continue to write poetry people can enjoy, while still staying true to myself.

Mike

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