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Open Poetry #8
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slow fingers fast
| Open Poetry #8 |
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slow fingers fast |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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Silver fingers of leaves; Shadows in her hair. Against her face, the tree's shape. Rough bark of the trunk. Lips gone forever. Not to kiss -- just to speak, To smile. To say goodbye again With time's hands, or fists. Eyes never to glow or blink, Watch me grow, break, Remake. Hands never to hold me in. Clutch and place on her a ring; Guess it's not her thing. Hair never to smell, to touch, To brush, to braid, to lay against Again. Stained stainless steel. I held in her explosion: Ice, frost, stones, But so cold. No more poems but remorse, Dried out by the sun. Songs play their pain like rain; The fire we became. Now, now -- don't look. Dusty pit of trash. Burned to wisps, couplings broke Smiling in the ash. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
reads like a mournful song plays....very nice the title is interesting Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Lips gone forever. Not to kiss -- just to speak, To smile. To say goodbye again With time's hands, or fists. Eyes never to glow or blink, Watch me grow, break, Remake. Hands never to hold me in. Clutch and place on her a ring; Guess it's not her thing. Hair never to smell, to touch, To brush, to braid, to lay against Again. =================== No more poems but remorse, Dried out by the sun. Songs play their pain like rain; The fire we became. Now, now -- don't look. Dusty pit of trash. Burned to wisps, couplings broke Smiling in the ash. ============== so much emotion... so gently expressed so sad, but no bitterness... so perfect. take care sweet poet squirrel jm/bs There are places inside our souls - that have never been touched. There are places inside our hearts - that need to be loved this much. ~jm~ |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
Awwww that was so sad but it was well written. You sure have a talent! Sauni Sauni :) |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh Mike, such mournful songs your pen sweetly writes ... sorrowful lyrics from the heart. Wonderfully penned. Best wishes, /Kit |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Mike~ I like it ! 'Watch me grow, break, Remake.' I find a spark of hope - 'Smiling in the ash' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Excellent work bsquirrel ahem Mike! the final stanza really rounds off the beauty of the poem... regards, sudhir |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
late as usual---that should have been my pen name-- This is gorgeous, and I felt the sting of remorse... "With time's hands, or fists..." I like that much. Hugs to you Mike. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks all. This poem will be special to me for a long time to come -- I composed it during a lunch break, then read it to two people. The look of awe and respect in their eyes made me think I might be meant for poetry after all.  thanks again.Mike |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
[quote of bsq] "The look of awe and respect in their eyes made me think I might be meant for poetry after all." you THINK you MIGHT be MEANT for POETRY?????? trust me baby...its in your veins... and Id walk on those lips of mine to there to actaully HEAR you read one of these... I'd of course wear my butterfly slippers on me lips LOL  later YOU-ARE-A-POET-GATOR me |
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ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
unique phrasing ... nice (sad) read without depressing me for the reat of the day ... thanks ... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
A wonderful poem! I think you were made for poetry...I just read the proof! |
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JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
Wow this is deep and very very good...liked it much!!! As i do everything I've read by you..... < !signature-->Julie [This message has been edited by JulieAnn (edited 07-21-2000).] |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Yeah, yeah, Butterfly Slippers: point made. And to everyone else for replying, thanks. I'm glad I continue to write poetry people can enjoy, while still staying true to myself.Mike |
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