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Open Poetry #8
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And I let her go...
| Open Poetry #8 |
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And I let her go... |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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Friends, This was written whiel travelling in a tram coming to work... takes about 30 minutes to reach my office... and this might have turned long and winded like a tram-line...  I had fun albeit on a sad subject... I hope you enjoy this... regards, sudhir. ---------------- And I let her go... We had our time - the Time of our lives Some would call it a Whale of a Time; Never knew what they meant anyway Took it to be a compliment always. We fought, we shouted, we kissed and made up, In love we were committed parties; At times doves, and sometimes ravens and crows. Cuddled each other - pecked ears too! "You are good looking" said she and the looking glass broke; "You are the kindest soul" I heard and the cat, she died! "You are the bravest of all" she said while I tumbled down the stairs; While a broken foot hung, she took me in her arms and said "I love you" - And I fell down from the bed And broke my jaw, lost a tooth! Well, life went on, I never thought of The accidents that hit me; I walked with a limp, And a lump in my throat, Caused by the food I couldn't chew with my lost tooth! We still fought and shouted, We kissed and often made up, In a 'matured' life we were still Committed parties; At times doves, but Mostly ravens and crows. Cuddled each other less And bit ears aplenty! Then the bank crashed, And bankers went out of job, I lost my money, assurances of life, holdings of love and Felt lost with dreams awash, Harsh truth of life hit me Now like a cold wave Off the seashore. She came to me and said "Ah, a toothless man, you Fagin" I let out a knowing smile, made her furious - "You grin, you smile at my fate After I gave you all I had to give And you gamble your money in the bank Lose it all and come back, you shameless poor wretch, How I hate this shambled you and despise myself for being a fool" "In fact I never loved you" with finality, she said. And like a maniac, I laughed, She had been fooled or was it I? Then I gathered myself and wrote a note 'My darling, if you had only spoken the truth way back in our lives'; I looked around for photographs of the cat, and took my tooth in my hand - 'We could have avoided so much bother' And I let her go to find her place in the world And I limped back with a lump in my throat, No caused by the food, But by memories of betrayal, Falsehood and poisoned morsels Smiling at destiny, intrigued by tears. ======= just-a-ramble =======< !signature--> Death, be not proud, though some have called thee, Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; - John Donne [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 07-19-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Well, it was a rough relationship for sure. But you got out of it alive. There is always something to be said for that. Good ramble, at least you put the thirty minute ride to good use.......I enjoyed the tremendous humour of the piece......sorry about your ears....she was'nt related to Tyson was she??? Good fun and good writing! |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Sudhir~ This is wonderful to read, keeps you wanting to reach the end to see what happens. Very good writings indeed  Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Oh man, This is phenomonal work Sudhir The way you stick with the story throughout makes it believable |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
And I thought I had some bad relationships before. I guess I should count myself lucky. Wonderful read and I concur; You put the tram ride to good use. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Suddy - quite the originalist aren't you? I LOVE your stuff my friend... (still getting to your poem in English btw...lol) Good work on this one! K |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
Sudhir Iyer wow..not too sure whether this is a "real" ramble or imagined, not knowing anyone on here...but I must commend you on surving if truth. This was very heartfelt and "complete". ~~soft hugs Maureen |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
sorry meant "surviving"..I have morning eyes ~~soft smiles M |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Sudhir* First you had me smiling with this piece and then you made me pause and think. This sounds all to familiar, so much wasted time on being kind or rather what is thought to be kind when honesty would make the road an easier more enjoyable road to follow. I enjoyed your ramble very much~ |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Wow you people make me feel famous as the Rolling Stones...  ethome, the fictional her was not related to Mike Tyson... wow you just gave me an idea for the next caricature... thanks... tracie, I am glad I could keep you "captivated"... thanks... Jeffrey, it is a story, hey friend, do you want to pick on this for a short story or something? I think this can also be a book ... thanks for joing in, my friend Mark, yes the tram ride is quite helpful at times, usually I and my walkman share the travel time, today he was out of batteries... so I had my muse who decided to take over... LOL Thanks a lot Kamla, I am impressed by my own work now that you find this good... Thanks for letting me feel useful and good... kidding, but Maureen, heartfelt and complete... WOW thats a nice compliment to receive.. appreciate it a lot... bey btw Welcome to Passions... and this is fiction... Thanks for your thoughts.. am all smiles at the "morning eyes" nice metaphor btw... ask Kamla (Severn) she knows all about metaphors  butterflies... thats one classic summary of the poem... now I can rest with the view that this has been completely understood... Thanks a lot I mean all facets were picked by the wonderful people around here (there might be more hidden facets though )regards to all... |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Another captivating rambling, by the poet who could be a novelist. Sudhir, when you become a famous writer, can I have an autographed copy of your first book? Liz |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
How hauntingly romantic, Sudhir, this was so sad. Kathleen |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Liz, a budding novelist, eh??? I am just glad that the rambling makes sense... and yes if I (a little conceited here) have my first book, it will be autographed and sent to you.. or should I make it a personal delivery... Thanks a bunch for your kind appreciation... Kathleen, you just captured yet another facet... my sarcastic look at sadness, being intrigued by the tears adn smiling at the same time... i am glad that was not missed... haunting... now thats a bit too much of kindness here... regards, sudhir |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ramble on, our rambling man, whether by tram or train just make sure the moonbeams come home with you again... Sunny ~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Helen Keller ~~~ When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Karilea, With the encouragement that I get here, I will... ramble on... might end up a rambling nut, but then I will have had my fun... Thanks a lot regards, sudhir |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Sudhir, You have my thinking my friend. Seems honesty would be the best policy for all. I enjoyed your rambling very much!! Hope I can ramble like that!!! LOL Great writing, my friend. LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Hey Lone Wolf, Thanks for reading and for your kind words about my rambling... but I am sure that your words are poetic and not just rambles... and definitely better than this writer's words... regards, sudhir |
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linda munday Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315Adelaide, Australia |
Sudir, You just replied to my poem The Waterfall, thank you. They were very encouraging words. About your poem though... I thought this was excellent! It carried me through to end easily. How about the following: We should all speak the truth, but only with love, otherwise we should keep our mouths shut! Oh well, it's nice to dream of a perfect world. Regards returned to you, Linda M. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh Sudhir ... ramble on some more my friend! I much enjoyed the read, 'twas quite a train ride ... I could feel the emotions come out in this one ... nicely penned! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Linda, Your words are wise ones... Thanks for reading and for your lovely response... Kit, I am on a rambling roll, my friend... thanks to your support, I will ramble on... Thanks again for reading and being there... Regards, Sudhir |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
this is wonderful sudhir, it says so much more than just the cliches...really great writing |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
WOWIE!! Thanks Corazon and regards, sudhir |
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Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
This 'ramble' makes me exhale a huge sigh of frustration for the situation! You must have had quite the inspirational tram ride, because this was like the relationship I'm sure everyone has had once. It goes on too long and then ends in a useless heap! Tongue firmly planted in cheek! Great tirade (?) Sudhir, I liked it! |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Sudhir lyer~ Honestly, if this is a ramble, I'd love to see what else you consider a ramble! This is wonderful. -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Tongue-in-cheek eh? Trew, I am glad you liked it... Thanks... SEA, Thanks for your reading and responding with such a wonderful praise... regards, sudhir |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Sudhir, You have told about a relationship possibly as it really is. I read this with much feelings. Thanks for sharing. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Bill ... Thanks for reading... Thanks a lot... regards, sudhir |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
amazing! |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
thanks |
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