Open Poetry #8 |
Poetry's Beauty Tanka |
Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
*Since I was on a roll with haikus and senryus, I decided to try writing tankas. I couldn't think of anything to write about that I could express in a 5-7-5-7-5 syllable count (It's more challenging than haikus and senryus), but then it dawned on me that we all love poetry, so that was my inspiration for my first tanka. This is my first tanka, so please be gentle, but be honest. If you would rather stare at linoleum for three hours straight than like my tanka, then let me know LOL ~*POETRY'S BEAUTY TANKA*~ 5-7-5-7-5 From the heart to pen such beauty in expression words dance on paper Ah! Poetry delights the senses, setting the soul free *By Melissa Honeybee* |
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© Copyright 2000 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved | |||
brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Melissa, I don't think I could survive writing a poem within a certain format. I have never written a haiku or a sonnet. I did not even know what a tanka was until now...oh the ignorant.lol Well I would rather read your poems than stare at lino any day even if the lino had really interesting pictures on it. in other words a wonderful poem. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. Faster- manic street preachers I am an architect, they call me a butcher I am a pioneer, they call me primitive I am purity, they call me perverted Holding you but I only miss these things when they leave I am idiot drug hive, the virgin, the tattered and the torn Life is for the cold made warm and they are just lizards Self-disgust is self-obsession honey and I do as I please A morality obedient, only to the cleansed repented *I am stronger than Mensa, Miller and Mailer I spat out Plath and Pinter I am all the things that you regret A truth that washes that learnt how to spell The first time you see yourself naked you cry Soft skin now acne, foul breath, so broken He loves me truly this mute solitude I'm draining I know I believe in othing but it is my nothing Sleep can't hide the thoughts splitting through my mind Shadows aren't clean, false mirrors too many people awake If you stand up like a nail then you will be knocked down I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else * chorus So damn easy to cave in, man kills everything (x4) ----- |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
My hat's off to you Melissa, it's so difficult to follow the rules of a certain style ... this flows beautifully, you've made it look easy, well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Bravo, Melissa. Part of what makes writing poetry so self-satisfying is the ability to follow form and structure and still come up with a good creation. You have certainly done so and I salute your efforts and ingenuity. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Wow - thank you so much for the kind replies and support! Take care, Melissa Honeybee |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Thanka for the lovely perfect TANKA LOL wonderful, so much emotion described in so few well chosen words. very nice!! take care jm And it's good that I'm not angry, I just need to get over, I'm not angry, anymore Cry when you cry, run when you run, love when you love, represent the ashes that you leave behind ~MB20~ "What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly" ~Lao Tze Tao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Melissa, i will rather stare at your poetry than at a linoleum any day your tanka is a delight as always but actually tanka is a 5-7-5-7-7 syllable word count poetry so perhaps your last line can be: setting the soaring soul free? for examples of tankas,look over the corner pub...Dennis, u_gene, me(to name a few) have been indulging in this artform... welcome, budding tankaist and may your muse grant you the power to write more tankas BTW, i have written one Poetry's Beauty Tanka for you in Open Poetry#8...hope u like [This message has been edited by kaile (edited 06-21-2000).] |
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