Open Poetry #8 |
In her presence... |
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
“Now I shall spy on beauty as none has spied on it yet...”—V. Nabokov (from Pale Fire) *** I’ve walked through mazes, labyrinths and webs. I’ve sat in churches listening to hymns and seeking essence. But if I ever loved,-- then in her presence; if ever I heard God,-- then in her steps. A perfect symmetry of strangeness and of beauty,-- Her skin complexion changes with the light. I’ve never saw a star this close, this bright,-- I’ve never loved before, -- now it’s my duty... < !signature--> Check out my poetry here: http://cafepoetry.com/stage1/andrey_kneller.htm#My%20Hamlet [This message has been edited by Master (edited 06-14-2000).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Wow...(not my suggested title, smile) But I love this much, like the spirituality and combined sensuality...struck me as a Devotional...just one word, but it is what struck me... |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Okay, so I'll admit I'm not much help when it comes to giving this a title. I loved the poem though. It was very touching. Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau" |
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JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
I don't know what I would call this....it struck as a sort of fantasy.....of passion??? I don't know but I liked it alot!!!! Julie |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"I've never seen a star before this close, this bright." Enjoyed reading this poem and I suggest "A Perfect Symmetry" or "A Perfect Match".... James |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Master~ Quietly spoken awe. I would suggest 'Then In Her Presence'. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Master, Enjoyed this one as many others from you... as for the title, maybe this one seems suitable: "In presence of my bright star" or simply "In presence". btw, I am not very good at selecting titles... Many regards, Sudhir |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I just read this over and over, it's lovely, I'm not very good at titles either but I would agree with James I like "A Perfect Symmetry" Kathleen "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace." Elizabeth Barrett Browning |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thank you for your suggestions, I'm still not convinced, but I think I'm going to use Marge's suggestion... Thanks everyone! |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
because of the way you began it was gonna say "Lost in her presence" but I like marge's better great poem |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Than you for responding Corazon! |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Master.....wow. a wonderful poem. beautiful. perfect. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. "Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth." Pablo Picasso "You do not destroy an idea by killing people; you replace it with a better one". Edward Keating ----- |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thank you Brian, btw I love those quotes! |
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