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Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

0 posted 2000-07-17 05:33 PM

You Misunderstood

You misunderstood I said
As the tears fell down my face
It wasn't like that at all
You've removed my every trace
Leaving me nothing
      Nothing at all

Liar you screamed at me
As I felt my heart split, shatter
You never believed in me
And now? It just doesn't matter
Leaving me nothing
      Nothing to see

Just liten to me I beg you
As my mind loses it's hold
Spining me into a black abyss
You've gone and I'm so cold
Leaving me nothing
      Nothing to kiss

[This message has been edited by Marsha (edited 07-17-2000).]

EagleOne
Member Elite

since 2000-03-07

Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...

1 posted 2000-07-17 06:07 PM

Wow! I like this, you convey you emotion powerfully.

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Unknown

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite

since 2000-01-30

Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London

2 posted 2000-07-17 06:40 PM

Marsha ... I don't envy you standing in those shoes
Very sad
nicely written

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant

since 2000-07-06

Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England

3 posted 2000-07-17 06:47 PM

Marsha......
        This really is sad, but not unfamiliar.  Some misunderstandings are worth
fixing.......

         You wrote this well.....
            it's full of emotion.....

~~~~~Live for Today~~~~~
taste every single moment

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

4 posted 2000-07-17 06:51 PM

Thanks eagle one, glad you liked it.

Rex, after reading this again I think it's a bit too dark. I don't know if I like what this shows, let me know what you think?
I know life isn't always happy but this is a bit too drear for me!

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

5 posted 2000-07-17 07:00 PM

Thanks Sunny you know I love your work, and I'd really like some insight on this one. I keep re reading it, and yes it shows how I felt but..... help please!

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite

since 2000-01-30

Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London

6 posted 2000-07-17 07:05 PM

I wouldn't change it ... it captures the moment ... one where many have found themselves ... no don't change it ... if you feel something different now ... then simply write another poem

Kyle aka Huck
Member

since 2000-07-16

Posts 63
Linn, MO USA

7 posted 2000-07-17 07:49 PM

very good it captures the other side of love the one never seen in movies

dgvarner
Member Elite

since 2000-05-13

Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida

8 posted 2000-07-18 12:39 PM

marsha..i like this one ..it feels rather raw with emotion....you conveyed the pain really well..

i'm with rex..i wouldnt change it!

we've all been there! however i find that the really raw pain takes a little longer to get out..youve done a great job!

dg

"i speak in written word--my lips, no sound may utter..." dgvarner

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

9 posted 2000-07-18 04:23 AM

Thanks Rex and Denise, in that case I won't change it. It did capture that time. Thanks again.

gem
Junior Member

since 2000-07-18

Posts 39

10 posted 2000-07-18 06:31 AM

I really felt as though you grew from that painful experience. I liked it a lot.

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