Open Poetry #8 |
Love is your color |
redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
Love is your color it looks good on you I never noticed but it's true I thought I'd seen everything every shade of you but love is your color Joy is in your eyes lights up the room sunshine on water can't compare to you I thought I'd seen everything every shade of you but love is your color *************** to be continued... add if you like.........could sure use some more picture lines.. (hint hint) |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Thinking |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
the stars cast like diamonds upon the night sky are lost in the sparkle of love in your eyes |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
lovely poem have to think about a few lines Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Moonbeams on new snow (something) (something) (something) sorry, so far that's the only line I could come up with |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Jeffrey, if i may- Moonbeams on new snow Refections in your eyes Your love begins to grow As the new seasons arise Jeffrey had a great line and I hope he doesn't mind. If so my apologies to him. [This message has been edited by Mark Bohannan (edited 07-17-2000).] |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
YES, Thank you Mark |
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redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
thanks Jeff & Mark, any other colors we can use?? Kay-lynn **A dream is a wish your heart makes :) |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
silver as the lining on the clouds so high golden as the summer wheat as purple as passions sigh carried on the scent of pink roses so sweet or something like that! |
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redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
I guess I left out the part about.. the first line has to be Love is your color.. then.. line #2 (why?) line #3 & #4.. description thanks for all your help guys! Kay-lynn Kay-lynn **A dream is a wish your heart makes :) |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Ok, since you mentioned that.... Love is your color It shows in your smile It lights up the room That's been dark for such a while I know this doesn't really keep to the beat of this , but maybe it helps a little |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Love is your color Kindling your soft soul Igniting hearts match Your flame glows brightly This is a beautiful idea and you started off with such tender thoughts~ [This message has been edited by Butterflies_dont_cry (edited 07-17-2000).] |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Love is your color. It's there in your smile and grace. Lighting my darkest night into a brighter place. |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Love is your color Why couldn't I see That sparkle in your eyes When you were here with me |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
what a lovely poem! Corinne |
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DMP Junior Member
since 2000-07-17
Posts 13Oly, WA, the states |
I like the original poem, think you should leave it as is, short sweet and such. THe hook, love is your color, good good. One thing about love poems though, it's easy to let them be a bit airy, and fluffy to the point that many love poems use the same metaphors etc...a truely effective love poem is one that only you could write, without moonbeams and other things which sound pretty but really hold no meaning. That's just my own opinion. |
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redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
thank you bmp.. and welcome to passions. i'm a songwriter. so you are correct in the "fluff" department. I need "real "terms... like. that dress looks good on you ie: love is your color am I not making myself clear? thanks for everyones help if you would like audio.. please reply to me here.. and I will forward. you're all so sweet. xoxo Kay-lynn **A dream is a wish your heart makes :) |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
love is your color your skies are all blue I'd spend all my wishes for one moment with you love is your color your aura so rare gentle breezes surround you and play with your hair love is your color it drives me insane your eyes mesmerize me and kindle my flame not sure which direction you want to go |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Ok, Kay-Lynn, We can do this, just give it a little time Love is your color It brings out your eyes Gives them that sparkle Like stars in a sky Well, not quite what I wanted to say but it'll have to do for now |
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