Open Poetry #8 |
An Exchange of Tears - Joint work with wayoutwalt |
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Tears don't really have to hurt they even tickle on your face they remind you of the struggle you weren’t aware had taken place But tears they are pain’s seekers tendering away your hiding spaces and lifting fear before you Tears can soothe old memories one might laugh then one might yell tears are what emotion makes so not e'er a shallow well But tears they loudly sing to the fore they spirit truth and memory unwanted Tears can be a beauty mark and remove the frivolity a lonely hearts heavy sigh and a divine such quality But tears they river-line mar the face and to our lives ode sorrow-sighs Tears I think are raindrops fallen from little gods that walk the earth tears can be what make the man and tears can mold his worth But tears defeat concede a shine of hope dispelled through weakened eyes Tears can appear unbiased tasting tears undecided but oh alas for the tears of the poor unrequited Yet tears can shatter clouds lift the lies born from denial yes it takes courage inside Ah, I see we both have cried By Walt and Kamla [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 07-14-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
very cool you two.. this is excellent... so much emotion.. perfect title and presentation too.. another well done pairing of poets. take care jm There are places inside our souls - that have never been touched. There are places inside our hearts - that need to be loved this much. ~jm~ |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Walt and Kamla - yanno, that has a nice ring to it. This is a terrific collaboration. You two really did a nice job with this. I like the shift from one stlye to the next and then back again as the verses progress. I also like the mixing of the free verse with the rhyming verse. You two work so well together. psst, Walt - buy a ticket for New Z. A man would be a fool not to travel half way around the world just to meet her. [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 07-14-2000).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is lovely, w.o.w. kamla! A conversatio of tears...I even read them in my mind in different voices....this is sweet and very beautiful. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
hehhe mister lg jhn you must know if i went to N Z i'd definetly meet up with severn and my wife and i would have her show us the countryside o and of course voting here..thanx to you too janet yuh yuh |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kamla and Walt...What a wonderful look at two perspectives and two voices...Well done! |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
excellent work both of you .... and Walt, just be sure to get the return ticket .. she can be kinda addictive y'know ... P |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
BRAVO, BRAVO |
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Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
This is a great piece from the two of you. It has a conversational feel to it that makes it flow really well. Keep on teaming up! Gimme more! |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
You two this is great!! I love also how you've mixed it up like that. This is unique in style~ I hope it makes it |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
I can clearly see what a marriage of minds can do... amazing work indeed... I only wonder what superb Joint Work-Out it may have been that resulted in such a wonderful poem... LOL .... regards, sudhir. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow - what a powerful piece you two have collaborated on... This is great! it reaches into the depths of the soul - touches the well of tears at their creation - even serves to soothe and cleanse as tears can at times... Nothing "marring" about that. Wonderful work you guys, Michael |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Walt and Kamla~ An exquisite work of poetic measure. Really a fine, fine piece. The blending of thoughts and styles is quite pleasing. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
This is terrific! An unlikely coupling, I would think, and you two have created an excellent poem and blended two uniques styles together very smoothly. I am very impressed.... |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Severn, my dear, you are just WAY OUT And Walt, you make me feel all warm fuzzied And you both wrote an exquisite poem Liz |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Hey you two, You make a great team An Excellent poem, enjoyed it muchly |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Unusual couplings sometimes bring out the best in both..I really liked this...you both did a great job! |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Superb !! You should get together again.. HUGS |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Fabulous writing both of you did with this one. I hope you both embark on a poem together again. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Wow, an amazing poem in so many ways. You two, make a great writing pair! Please write another one together for us Take care, Melissa Honeybee The beauty of poetry gives me wings to fly |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Tears! tears! tears! In the night, in solitude, tears, on the white shore dripping, dripping, suck'd in the sand, Tears, not a star shining, all dark and desolate, Moist tears from the eyes of a muffled head; O who is that ghost? that form in the dark, with tears? What shapeless lump is that, bent, crouch'd there on the sand? Streaming tears, sobbing tears, throes, choked with wild cries; O storm, embodied, rising,careering with swift steps along the beach! O wild and dismal night storm, with wind- O then the unloosen'd ocean, Of tears! tears! tears! Unusual subject for a joint venture. Very well done however. Very well done. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Extremely deep and powerful...wow...I am in awe. You two are definitely a success together! *Krista Knutson* "We are not seperate from spirit, we are in it." ~Plotinus~ |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
A most unlikely pairing, turned into a beautiful song. Your tears have spoken friends! Chris |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is truly wonderful... I think we've all cried as well.. Voting here..*V |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Walt and Kamla, this is quite simply beautiful. Walt told me to be on the lookout for this one, but I never expected this, the way the perspectives shift, the differing views, and the perfect summation line. I, too, hope this one makes it. Alicat |
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Nara Junior Member
since 1999-10-31
Posts 11 |
Beautiful. A duet of differences. I love the contrast of two styles and two truths. A very touching piece. |
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elisaseyes Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 196fort worth texas |
very nice poem you too now walt come to bed. Severn you compliment my husbands creativity with your own wonderful talent...now lets see you write a quirky one with him hehehe...and btw he made me reply to get one more vote for ya'll (kidding) |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Very surprised and pleased at the outcome the vote is in good luck |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
WOW what a most beautiful piece you two have pieced together....excellent Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Excellent poem Walt and Kamla I liked very much. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
i just wanted to again thank you all for bein so supportive on this one yuh yuh |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
It reads like a conversation, its a duet between two people with different styles! Wow! I so much enjoyed this! Nice job! Debbie |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
WOW! Guys...this is just a HUGE thankyou for the support of this piece..it was absolutely awesome to work with Walty...and we most certainly will be doing it again!! Cheers all! K |
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UFgirl05 Junior Member
since 2000-07-17
Posts 10Winter Haven, FL, USA |
it was a very moving conversation........good job guyz! |
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