Open Poetry #8 |
Love's beautiful tale |
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Please let me tell this tale, Of love and of despair, Pitiful sorrow, misery's bell Rings back a lovely heart's affair. It was a mighty clash, She timid, he a bit too rash, Between him and her, distanced apart Stood a lonely tear and a broken heart. The other woman and her man, Had sinned in cruel deceit, treachery, She became the daughter of gloom, ran, Towards pillared corner, full of misery. She often waited in her corner, Hoping for sanity to prevail, sense to return, But, the gloomy corridors only grew darker, The lone candle was at the end of its burn. Often the thought of giving up life Crossed her depraved mind, Accepting defeat, painful strife, Suicidal notions danced in its deranged kind. The candle was at its tether, the end, Dark tunnel of life sucked her in, Appeared suddenly, a shining white ray, he bend, Picked her up, pulled her from clutches of sin. Fate it had seemed had sealed her life, But then who had accounted for the brave knight, Who offered her a hand that she dearly held on tight, A promise he solemnly made to end her strife. 'Never give up' implored the fair prince, 'Many princes of darkness will come and go' 'And time would test once too often, but never fear so' 'A time-tested soldier would fight ever since' Revived and resurrected, she shone, In her splendour, a beauty so dazzling, A victim of a particular night, she was one, Now, corrected in her vision with eyes ever sparkling. That love had finally found its way, This is the beautiful tale I had to say. ~~~~~ [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 06-13-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
amazon_lover Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491Dublin,Ireland |
Hi Sudhir, It was an interesting one and had a very nice ending!!!! Sincerely A_L |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
~sudhir your expressions of love in this one hit me straight in the heart. thank you for all your sweet replies to my work as of lately. me thinks you are pretty awesome yourself! take care. amy p.s. beautiful poem! "Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is before you can meet again. And meeting again after a moment or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends." "Fate exists but it can only take you so far, Because once you're there It's up to you to make it happen." |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thank you A_L and Amy. I guess I wanted love to survive like it actually does many a time...I am still on the other side of that story though *sigh* but well patience is a virtue, is it not??? Anyway, my cribs to myself, thanks to both of you for reading and posting your kind words... regards, sudhir. My heart is pounding, my stomach's inside out I'm feeling kind-a-shaky, my mind is full of doubt All I ever think about, is fearing fear itself, Wish I could unscrew my head and put it on the shelf Everything is twisted, everything is oh so tight, Don't know what I'm looking at, the lights are all too bright My brain's about to crumble, spill out on the floor Sweep 'em up. Throw 'em away, don't want 'em anymore Clouds race across the sky, day turns into night, Still there are the questions, no answers in sight Everything is twisted, everything is oh so tight, Starin' out the window, everything is just too bright Brain's about to crumble, spill out on the floor, Wish I could unscrew my head, and kick it out the door... You know I'm feeling kind-a....Strange You know I'm feeling kind-a....Strange ~ Strange ~ Joe Satriani (Flying in a Blue Dream) |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah, brave kind knight who witnessed yon plight of maiden in despair cast down thy cape allow thus escape and love will scent the air... and nay do not cast her away but beg her, stay... her love to you she'll bare... As always, Sudhir, a remarkable job, and the beauty of it IS in the eye of the beholder... Sunshine ~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Helen Keller ~~~ |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
An enchanting tale, and so well told Sudhir ... and a happy ending so nicely penned ... thanks, I needed that! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Karilea, Many thanks to you, from all my heart... Kit, Thanks and I am glad you liked it. Lots of smiles Regards, sudhir |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Nicely written... enjoyed. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thanks Mike, Glad that you enjoyed... regards. |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
there's a couple of verses I thought you were writing about me...but then you hit the happy ending...and nope...I haven't gotten there yet...sigh....great poem though, really well written, the emotions, very touching |
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sea_of_okc Senior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 568Oklahoma City, OK, USA |
Ahhhhh, Sudhir a most beautiful tale. Thanks so much for sharing it |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
SUD, this is EXCELLENT!! i cant beleive no one has yet mentioned the cool and unique rhyme scheme you chose I read this out loud the second time and it made it even cooler awesome my friend AWESOME laterSud,gator jm And it's good that I'm not angry, I just need to get over, I'm not angry, anymore Cry when you cry, run when you run, love when you love, represent the ashes that you leave behind ~MB20~ "What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly" ~Lao Tze Tao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Corazon, Hold on tight, you will reach there... Thanks for reading, and glad it touched you... sea ... Thank You for reading it... Janet, Your eyes see everything, my friend, rhyme and sounds what else do I need to make me gratified and proud...a spurt of pride is swelling...Thanks for your words... Regards to all, Sudhir |
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