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Open Poetry #8
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dancing with serenity
| Open Poetry #8 |
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dancing with serenity |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Can you not-- see? her dancing... What rhythm of her heart is bleak? Do you not feel moon entrancing? Defy it. (though your knees be weak.) Oh--close those eyes, listen--LISTEN. Allow her voice entice your ear... The last two notes (those words she spoke...) the cleansing salt of yearning's tears. [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 07-08-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
i like this style of yours it flows so well and spends me deep in a dream like state..love it! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Oh Beautiful Serenity!!! I swayed with this...... Can you not-- see? her dancing... What rhythm of her heart is bleak? Do you not feel moon entrancing? Defy it. (though your knees be weak.) Loved this very much, flowed beautifully!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! wishing you love and joy! and have a Merry time ! Thanks for your kind wishes. My grief lies onward and my joy behind (Shakespeare) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
walt---thank you so much--I owe you many smiles... Dark Angel--thank you again, me birthday 'bud'---now I am off to enjoy the day... |
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redheart angrybraids Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410honolulu, hawaii |
-the cleansing salt of yearning tears, how beautiful, what a sullen story, but beautiful, Kindly, Redheart Angrybraids |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
It's amazing to me sometimes just how much power the title of a poem holds... This is nicely done under any guise..  |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
a graceful and wonderous dance now I wish I did not have two left feet. LOL "Death makes angels of us all and put wings where we once had shoulders, smooth as raven's wings. Jim Morrison |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
I agree this has ya swayin'! I didn't know it was your birthday. So pardon me, but Happy Belated Birthday!!!! |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
I can. I can see her I can hear her I can feel her. Thanks to your beautiful words. I can Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Lady Web Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 96Houston, Texas |
Yes, flowing words that oh so glow I liked this very much Very nice ! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
much thanks to all, especially Nan for helping me with the editing experiment-- certainly gave me something to think about. Much gratitude. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Do I ever like the style, it caught me and consumed me.....Excellent from beginning to end! |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
I've danced with agility ... but never with serenity but ... no problem just curl up your toes and smile  beautiful poem |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
there's no one who appreciates a good dance like me, but to put dancing into the rhythm-ful verse you have is quite a feat! most impressive, serenity. you have captured that feeling of dancing on air. i like the lines: Allow her voice entice your ears it's nice to let the lady to lead sometimes. =) We all got our demons. We all got somethin' to atone for. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I knew this one would get a good response. I'm glad you (re)posted it. Mike |
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