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Open Poetry #8
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The Way You Look at Me...
| Open Poetry #8 |
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The Way You Look at Me... |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 
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The Way You Look at Me by: Krissie S. When we were little sometimes you made me cry. You'd make silly jokes with your friends and tease me till tears stung my eyes. There I stood, helpless and uncertain. Not knowing whether to be stong and endure your taunts or run home admitting defeat. And I remember the way you looked at me as I turned and ran home crying... maybe a little indifferent? When we got a little older we got into different things. You were into soccer tournaments and cars, and I was into art contests and cartoons. Yet we went through the same things at home. Screaming and smacking and broken hearts and thumbs. You tried to cope by running to drugs, I by running away. And I remember the way you looked at me when I came home... maybe a little ambiguous? When we went to high school together, you looked out for me. Neoteric and as uncertain as ever, you made me feel more brave. Someone tried to steal my bike and you chased them away. Then you told his brother you'd fight him- for me! And my breath caught in my throat. And I remember the way you looked at me when he walked away from you... maybe a little exultant? When we really started to spend time together more often, we no longer went to school together. My body finally started to catch up... and so did your attention. Little things you said under your breath. Too soft to be heard, not enough courage in the words to be repeated before you drove away. And I remember the way you looked at me in the rearview mirror...maybe a little hesitant? When I speak of all these things, they seem trivial and unimportant. But they matter a lot to me and I can't decide which feeling to pursue. You show such hurt and vulnerablity, but I seem to be the only one who sees it. Do you share this with only me? Or am I seeing what I wish was there? And I can't remember which time it was when you looked at me... that I fell in love with you. "I'm sorry for telling u love was unnecessary... making u lose ur way. I'm sure I'll be as sad as u feel." ~Touch and Go |
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| © Copyright 2000 Christine Straka - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jennie may* Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 122 |
wow-----I love this one. The last line is beautiful. I wish I could count how many times I have been there, too. Good poem "We have all these galaxies inside of us. And if we don't enter those in art, then I don't understand the point in doing anything."-Sam Shepard |
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MagnoliaBlue Member
since 2000-05-12
Posts 367 |
Oh my...all the emotions riding in this one. Good writing!  MagnoliaBlue ~My Skipper Jim I love you! Your Lady June~ |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
Thanks. When I don't rhyme or work in a certain style I try to go for vivid imagery. It takes me forever to find the right word to spice up a verse! My favorite thing to do is to take simple emotions and just exagerate them to death! "I'm sorry for telling u love was unnecessary... making u lose ur way. I'm sure I'll be as sad as u feel." ~Touch and Go |
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Asma M. Ahmad Junior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 19 |
Wonderful poem Anikay! I really like the way you describe the change in your relationship.It's gradual,yet inevitable and totally natural.Beautiful too! (Too many adverbs? But maybe you could try rearranging your verses so that they seem less like paragraphs? |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Your hard work has paid off in this piece, ....the journey to love has been a beautiful one, thank you for sharing this~ |
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Jan Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 114 |
Oh, I loved this so much! It brought tears to my eyes. |
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