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Open Poetry #8

Short little Ditty.

Effigy
Member

since 2000-04-11

Posts 486
disbelief

0 posted 2000-07-08 12:55 PM

You were just a phantom
that never started living.
You were so hollow,
you were so forgiving.
We felt so perfect,
when we lost it all.
Guess we aren’t so perfect,
not so perfect at all.

After all, what is reality anyway? Nothin' but a collective hunch.

redheart angrybraids
Member

since 2000-04-16

Posts 410
honolulu, hawaii

1 posted 2000-07-08 01:25 AM

totally dug this one,

Kindly,
Redheart Angrybraids

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

2 posted 2000-07-08 09:44 PM

Sometimes, it's just over my friend. . .

Excellent. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

Jamie
Member Elite

since 2000-06-26

Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

3 posted 2000-07-09 02:04 AM

very unusual

Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".

Effigy
Member

since 2000-04-11

Posts 486
disbelief

4 posted 2000-07-10 01:21 AM

Thanks I guess. :P It's short, but i kind of liked it.

insect
Senior Member

since 2000-04-22

Posts 1014

5 posted 2000-07-10 01:30 AM

Love this poem!

forne_marin
Member

since 2004-04-13

Posts 140
Spartanburg, South Carolina

6 posted 2004-05-04 10:26 AM

This is nice, Wes. I liked it. It's short, sweet, and to the point.

I believe the most important component of a poem is rhythm. Rhythm is the heartbeat of a poem. It is what makes poetry poetry.

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