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Open Poetry #8
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Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

0 posted 2000-07-04 10:39 PM


Bar Scene (or seen at a bar) - Haiku

Soft lonely voices
eye ladies with flowered drinks
flowers to be drank.



Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


© Copyright 2000 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved
kat
Member
since 2000-05-20
Posts 387

1 posted 2000-07-04 10:44 PM


I loved this! I don't really know anything about haiku or what it's all about but I do know that I love this!  

kat

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-07-04 10:45 PM


your really getting in to these Haikus arent you...
just love to see a man play with poetry  
like this one...its tender and sensual...
now write the long and steamy version   LOL
later-haiku-gator
jm

What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly
~LaoTzeTao~
~Butterflies are meant to be free~


Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
3 posted 2000-07-04 11:13 PM


Jamie....I agree with Janet, take the idea and run with it
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2000-07-05 01:49 AM


true...this is lovely alone, but has endless possibilities....so, stranger, buy me a drink?  lol  see what I mean?
Tanga
Junior Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 39
BC Canada
5 posted 2000-07-05 03:38 AM


slowly sip the syrup of sweetness .. <**>
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
6 posted 2000-07-05 06:44 AM


Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaazam!   This should be added to the #1 pick-up line book    Well done!
TerryW
Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779
Louisville, Mississippi, USA
7 posted 2000-07-05 12:15 PM


prometheus~
       You really do have a way with words, my friend!!!!!
     Great Haiku!



~you reached inside, you touched my heart,
and I am all the better for it~
Terry A. Woodson, Jr.

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
8 posted 2000-07-05 11:13 PM


Thanks everyone.
These little devils are addictive.
And janet.. I don't have the password to the "steamy" forum...lol

Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

9 posted 2000-07-07 01:24 AM


Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, hmmmm I like this one my friend. Well Done  

Yes, I am here, but I am dead, not alive,
my body goes on, my spirit has died
and I though alive, feel dead inside.

"Rose Petal"

JulieAnn
Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754
Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!!
10 posted 2000-07-07 01:31 AM


Wow you can really read alot into these few words...and since the bar scene has been my thing of late it spoke to me in a strange way...sort of made me think.....being single again is tough.....loved the writing...'  < !signature-->

Julie  




[This message has been edited by JulieAnn (edited 07-07-2000).]

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
11 posted 2000-07-07 11:14 AM


Greetings fellow Haikuist...
love this artform and always love to see a fellow poet's attempts

this one is refreshingly different from the ones i have read so far..."flowers to be drunk"..implying a lot here, are we...Great line there btw
Hope to read more of your attempts

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
12 posted 2000-07-09 12:09 PM


Angel-- I am so glad you enjoyed it- yours are so enjoyable.

JulieAnn-- the single life is very hard to  adapt to after marriage- glad this one could speak to you.

kaile- Yours have inspired me immensely.
I will look for more from you!


Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


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