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Open Poetry #8
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The Phonecall
| Open Poetry #8 |
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The Phonecall |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada 
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The Phonecall The call that comes in darkest sleep, Awakens with a fright; For 2 am, the silence breaks The peaceful calm of night. When only moments earlier, I dreamt of visions fair; Of light and love and happiness; ... Till ringing filled the air. It beckoned me from deepest sleep, And drew me from my daze; I shook my head to clear my mind, Find focus through this haze. "How long has this been ringing?" As I reach to find the light; I steal a glance toward the clock, And now my heart takes flight! 'Tis many hours before the dawn, Yet all should be in bed; My loved ones faces fill the night; ... My heart is filled with dread. I struggle for composure as I reach to grab the phone; My stomach churns, my heart contracts; "Are all my kids at home?" I stumble as I grasp the handle, Stifle silent screams; "Oh God ... please let this phonecall Be a part of just a dream!" My heart is racing, mind's a whirl, Receiver's made of lead; "Oh, how can this be happening!" "Who's on the other end?!" Just seconds pass and yet I find It's been eternity; I raise the phone to panicked ear; "Oh please ... don't be for me!!!" /Kit McCallum |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kit McCallum - All Rights Reserved | |||
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
WOW Kit....This was really scary....I was so intent on finding out who was calling and I was left breathless not to know. One of my favorites of yours  It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
WOW....I hate this feeling too!!! Our panic takes over and a million different thoughts run through your head....A excellent job Kit~ Thank you for sharing this |
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sarahC Member
since 2000-06-07
Posts 84Michigan |
Very chilling poem....I really liked it though I too am left wanting to know who was calling!!!! Nice work!! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Oh, Kit~ This one struck a chord too vivid in my memory. The fear we all face when it rings in the night. You captured the dreaded feeling all too well. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Oh gosh, I can relate...heck, I panic when the phone rings in the middle of the afternoon! Very scary, Kit. Elizabeth I'm grabbing my hat and coat I'm leaving the cat a note Quick call me a ferry boat-getting out of town! |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Fear and dread are two of the most awful feelings there are. You describe them well, but who was calling, anyway? "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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shilpi Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 73 |
Oh boy, how I rushed through the poem to find out who was at the other end !!! Still keeping the suspense, huh ?!!! You related absolutely well to this fear !! Regards, shilpi |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Kit we can all do without those kind of phone calls. The atmosphere of poem was perfectly edgy. Excellent read, and also am wondering...hoping that it was good news/false alarm. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. manic street preachers "Culture Alienation Borebom and Despair" "I know I believe in nothing but it is my nothing" -faster MSP "And you see, I kind of shiver to conformity Did you see, the way I cower to authority, you see And my life, it's a series of compromises anyway It's a sham, and I'm conditioned to accept it all, you see" six by Paul Draper. ----- |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~First Knight: Thank you for the WOW and the favorites! (tell you in a sec) ~Butterflies: Thanks for the comments Butterflies! ~SarahC: Thank you Sarah (tell you in a sec too) ~Marge: It's a horrible feeling, so true, thanks Marge! ~Elizabeth: Me too Elizabeth, nearly jump out of my skin mid-day! Thanks. ~Lovebug: Thank you Lovebug ... tell you in a sec) ~Shilpi: Sorry Shilpi ... didn't mean to build it, but haven't had a chance to reply till now ... thanks! ~Brian: Thank you for the great comments Brian! ***Although I've had my share of family terrors in the night, unfortunately for my best friend, she was the spark for this inspiration. She was called at 2:00 am by the police to get down to emerg, where her 18 yr old son had been badly burned with 2nd and 3rd degree burns all over his body. He'd been at a prom party in an open farmers field and fell into a 10 foot open bon-fire pit. No supervision ... a terrible, horrible accident that should never have happened. He's going to survive, but will be going through painstaking skin grafts for a very long time ... he is a very lucky boy to be alive. It was her horrible phonecall I wrote about above, though many of us know the feeling unfortunately ... Much appreciation to all for the lovely comments, Best wishes, /Kit |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
My heart was in my throat when I was reading this, Kit. Being a Mom myself I could relate to the fear of a call like that. This also brought back memories of when my Mom passed away when I was at work (my first job, a month after graduation) and was ushered into my boss's office for an 'important' phone call. I couldn't answer the phone for months afterwards, petrified that I would hear that someone else that I loved had died. You've captured the terror very well in this, Kit. Denise |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
YIKES! I'm on the edge of my seat -- and I don't think the mouse will EVER recover from the brutal squeezing it just received ... This is indeed every mother's nightmare, Kit -- may the Lord grant that this poem never comes to be! --Kess YOUR LIFE IS A TEST It is only a test ... If this were your Actual Life, you would have been given better instructions! |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Kit, this was so intense and so vividly true. How we all hate the ringing of the phone in the middle of the night. Sorry to hear of your friend's son. Wonderful poem. |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
kit~ this was so vivid and real like. now after reading your response, i see why. you captured the feelings that we all dread in the middle of the night the most the sound of the phone ringing, when it shouldn't be! take care. amy p.s. Denise, that is so ironic. that is also how i found about my mom. i was working at my first job at Hardee's...when the phone rang and my boss came to tell me i had a phone call. found out my mom had a heart attack and wasn't expected to live. she passed away a few months later due to another heart attack. i couldn't answer a phone for a while either. "Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is before you can meet again. And meeting again after a moment or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends." "Fate exists but it can only take you so far, Because once you're there It's up to you to make it happen." |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Kit, this was way to real, you did an amazing job with it. I too was on the edge of my seat. Bravo on the poem, very sad on the inspiration. Parker |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Denise: Thank you Denise ... I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I too got a mid-day phonecall that left me feeling this way. Mine was from park rangers notifying me of a phonecall while on vacation that my grandfather had passed away, horrific feelings ... ~Kess: Thank you Kess ... I too would pray that no one has to experience this awful feeling ... ~Eloise: Thank you Eloise ... and thanks for the kind thoughts about her son ~Amy: Thanks Amy, and I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I was called late evening by my dad that he'd taken my mom in to emerg with an aneurism. She miraculously survived, but it was a long road ... and we are ever so grateful. ~Parker: Thank you so much for the wonderful comments Parker, I appreciate it. Much appreciation to all, /Kit |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
i used to call my grampa all the time at like 3 and 4 in the morning cuz i had a flat tire and i needed him to come help me finish my paper route but yuh great poem intense way cool |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Gripping fear stalks me, said my mother when she got a phone call from me at 1:30 am. Me being about 3.5 hours of time difference away, did not realise that it was quite late. oh! I then remember how much my mom dislikes telephone calls after midnight, being apprehensive, tentative.. the same she used to feel for a long time with telegrams... Its human nature to think that only urgent messages are passed at such unearthly hours...hence the fear... Very well expressed here Kit, Really enjoyed this one... regards, sudhir My heart is pounding, my stomach's inside out I'm feeling kind-a-shaky, my mind is full of doubt All I ever think about, is fearing fear itself, Wish I could unscrew my head and put it on the shelf Everything is twisted, everything is oh so tight, Don't know what I'm looking at, the lights are all too bright My brain's about to crumble, spill out on the floor Sweep 'em up. Throw 'em away, don't want 'em anymore Clouds race across the sky, day turns into night, Still there are the questions, no answers in sight Everything is twisted, everything is oh so tight, Starin' out the window, everything is just too bright Brain's about to crumble, spill out on the floor, Wish I could unscrew my head, and kick it out the door... You know I'm feeling kind-a....Strange You know I'm feeling kind-a....Strange ~ Strange ~ Joe Satriani (Flying in a Blue Dream) |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hey Kit you really got me going now, what a scene you set. I feel like I'm falling out of an airplane without a chute. Great work and great fun! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Oh my, I've been through that terror of a call at that time of night and your heart stops a beat from the time you pick up the phone until you know the intent of the message....your poem expresses that wonderfully |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...and not to matter the age nor stage of our lives phones that ring at 2:00 a.m. bring terror's sting and dread harboring 'neath sheltered dreamy eyes. Please let your friend know that Passions poets are praying for her family and son. Sunshine ~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Helen Keller ~~~ |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Kit,...wow!!! You have my heart pounding in my chest...this poem is flooding me with many memories...as I've received a few of these phone calls...all bringing bad news. Also, a knock at the door once around that time a night...news about my brother in an accident. Gosh,...you have sent chills up my spine. Your writing is so real and freaky. Well done...I don't mean freaky in a bad way at all,...I just mean it is effective. Indeed a most chilling piece of work. *Bravo* on a job well done. Please take care. *Peace. |
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Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
Brrrr.. You found the moment where a life may be about to change and put the trepidation to paper; perfectly, I might add. I still have the adrenaline flowing! I have been to see the world. Tasted life at every turn. And all the time your face came back to haunt me. -Chris DeBurgh |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Walt: Thanks for the way cool Walt ... you had a pretty terrific grandfather! ~Sudhir: Glad you enjoyed Sudhir, bet you scared your mom a few times with the time difference! ~Ethome: I always wanted to skydive Ethome ... thanks for the great comment! ~HootOwl: Sorry to hear you've been on the receiving end too HootOwl ... thanks for the comments! ~Sunshine: Wonderful poetic response Sunshine, and thank you for the prayers ... I will. ~SpitFire: Thanks for the wow and the freaky SpitFire I enjoyed your comments!~Trew: Glad I was able to give an adrenaline rush ... always feels good, thanks Trew! Much appreciation to all! /Kit |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
yep this is great, you described it so perfectly.....whew...the intensity built perfectly....that's the only time a wrong number is welcome....great poem great ending |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Corazon: Wrong numbers at that time of night truly are a blessing ... thanks Corazon! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Syntax Junior Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 25 |
Kit, You put this adrenalin-rushing situation, and the accompanying emotions to rhyme so very well. I was drawn in immediately, and couldn't wait for the ending. Fantastic work! Syntax Each instant comes with a price ~ J. Wright |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Chills down the spin and a great twist at the end, Kit! Corinne |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Syntax: Thank you so much for the wonderful comments ... much appreciated Syntax! ~Corinne: Glad you felt it Corinne, thanks for the great comment! Much appreciation to both, /Kit [This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 06-15-2000).] |
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Miss Behavin' Member
since 1999-06-16
Posts 84 |
This is indeed every parent's nightmare - You've done a wonderful job here - Walt, of course defy most any rule - and I'm glad he can...  |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Kit~ Good grief....I was panicing while reading this.....So sorry for your friend and her son.... The way you wrote this made me feel it too, great job. -SEA |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Miss Behavin': Thank you so much for the comment (and Walt's Grampa must have been a sweety) ~SEA: Thanks for the lovely comment, and for thinking of my friend and family SEA ... Much appreciation, /Kit |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Ah, Kit, suspense writing to rival that of Poe, in its own way. I hope your friend's son makes a quick and full recovery. ~ Claire |
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