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Open Poetry #8
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i know that now (you know, that hindsight thing)
| Open Poetry #8 |
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i know that now (you know, that hindsight thing) |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209
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i aplogize for the length, to condense twenty nine years into one poem isn't easy... i know now you know (that hindsight thing...) that i never loved you i found this out for certain by falling head over heels love at first sight with another... not a good thing for you and me for i have known you since i was sixteen i first met you almost thirty years ago and on that day for you it was that love the first time you laid eyes on me thing too but it wasn't the same for me i know that now i only put on your ring cause you thought i was beautiful and you know the insecurities of a middle child (without a father figure) i needed you to need me and you did you wove every ounce of your needing and loving suffocatingly around me until eventually needing to breathe i fought back and ended up with a black eye you knew my want of leaving you and so each black eye after that you wound yourself even tighter vowing to never again hit me or never again let me go one of the two i lost track of your promises along the way and i somehow lost who i was just someone wrapped up inside of you my need to leave was more afraid of you than that of staying and so i stayed and left you even more so in control until (more hindsight here) that love at first sight thing and forever i learned what true love is it stays with me even after his dying for never will i be the same and you have lost control i know that now i see it in your eyes each time we talk honestly and i painfully unwrap one more round of you it is getting easier you know it used to be with tears too many to be explained me...sobbing out of control attempting to free the person inside your coils i hurt for you to be without me since your needing had no reason it would be next to impossible for you to let go and i hurt for me to walk away who was i anyway who would i be once you weren't coiled around me anymore but i must say (present thought here) this battle of my freedom has cost a price that i know not yet if it was worth to have lived "not loving" my enemy for all these years my soul is endangered to say the very least and to look at the man you have become is not a thing i want to do holding on to a woman who needed you to let go has made very little self respect i wish internal fortitude had granted you enough to let me go the first time i asked and i wish that it had granted me enough to leave even though yours was lacking this unholy linking has done neither of us any good i know that now (hindsight is fairly accurate they say) and still i have yet to leave a little one needs me, this, a holiday is coming, that, and what would a family be without a mama, this, and that, excuses i know but leaving soon will be mine i have unwrapped almost all of you set the stage for the final act and still i hope when hindsight writes the final reviews it won't find me lacking i guess you know that hindsight thing that i will have to wait until it lets me know [This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 07-01-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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MagnoliaBlue Member
since 2000-05-12
Posts 367 |
Corazon... This is so damn good!  Keep unwrapping. The person you will be when he isn't coiled around you anymore is YOURSELF girl ! Keep writing and keep listening to yourself, you are doing ok kiddo! MagnoliaBlue ~My Skipper Jim I love you! Your Lady June~ |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
thanks magnolia, and yes this poem was more for myself than for the reader...guess after 29 years, an unwrapping is due...*sigh* |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Corazon~ UNWRAP!!!! You are so much more than you give yourself credit for! You will find all the strength you need when you walk away...... I did. -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
i have unwrapped almost all of you set the stage for the final act and still i hope when hindsight writes the final reviews it won't find me lacking i guess you know that hindsight thing that i will have to wait until it lets me know ... very nicely written Corazon, and a stark truth too... One has to OPEN oneself up in stages, but each time when we look back upon the past times we actually OPEN UP further to our own existence.... geez .shut up Sudhir!!! too many philosophical coffees today, I guess... Many regards, sudhir Death, be not proud, though some have called thee, Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; - John Donne |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
It's good to get these feelings down on paper, Corazon, and know that through strength you cannot fail, but in weakness failure is always the outcome. Peace, my friend. Corinne |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Powerful writing Corazon! It's amazing how hindsight can seem so clear. Stay positive and strong ... gain power from your words, for in them lies your strength! Best wishes, /Kit |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
I couldn't read this all sweetheart, you know why, I'm sure....I wish for you some peace but I know that only comes from within and with knowing you have not just something to offer but so much to offer...I wish for you...a Monday through Sunday of smiles.. HUSG |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
SEA, Corrine, Kit, Sudhir thank you so much for your kind words, I am so thankful for having a place to post my heart where it is accepted with such kindness rg....yep lady i know...hope you are holding up ok, i know, gosh, why couldn't life have been made just a bit easier? thanks for your support and hugs.....hugs back |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
No cute remarks from me on this one, Corazon. It is too powerful and close to the bone. Damn, you're good!!!!!! |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
thanks bal *soft smile* you know a compliment such as this from a poet of your stature will make anyone smile |
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