Open Poetry #8 |
In the Distance (repost) |
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
~In The Distance~ There is a distance in the space between us... now feeling chained by what use to set us free, doubt and discontent only add to the misery, and I can't see you anymore...thru the distance. There are lies in the space between us, trust and faith have passed us by ... to the point we cant even look each other in the eye ... I don't believe in love anymore...its off somewhere in the distance. There is anger in the space between us, compromise has lost its grace, resentment grows and takes its place ... There is a rage deep inside of me...from its hold...I need to find distance. There is pain in the space between us, old wounds and old scars...forever bleed, did we mistake love for an aching need. I need release from this agony, healing is somewhere...in the distance. There is loss in the space between us, patience and passion lost to living a lie, hearts break, dreams fade, then die ... There has already been so much taken, my past follows me ... into the distance. There is an emptiness in the space between us, in my heart there's just vacancy ... loneliness keeps me company, with nothing left to hold us here... its safe to say ... we wont make the distance. There is silence in the space between us, the words to save this just cant be found... listen close...as this love leaves...it makes no sound... and I can hear someone else calling to me...off in the distance. Janet Marie |
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© Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved | |||
Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
JM~ you definitely got my vote!! this was awesome girl. I loved the repetition, really drove your point home. as always exquisite writing my dear friend! Take care and Love ya. Amy "Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is before you can meet again. And meeting again after a moment or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends." "Fate exists but it can only take you so far, Because once you're there It's up to you to make it happen." |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
There is hope in the distance before you. There is healing in the space to come. There are truths that can break the chains And the world before you yours to be won. I could almost see the tears in your words. Thanks for sharing them. jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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kat Member
since 2000-05-20
Posts 387 |
Janet: This was amazing! I related to this one so much. It's a shame how things end up sometimes. Wish that life was different at times. Not always but on occasion it would be nice. I'm glad you reposted it. Beautiful work! kat |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"listen close as this love leaves it make no sound. and I can hear someone else calling out to me off in the distance." Janet I loved this poem and the message in the last lines. A choice we make that seems to take a lifetime. James |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
Nice work!!!!!!!!!! |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
This one bleeds...if it weren't so true but.. ...well you know I know. There are lies in the space between us, trust and faith have passed us by ... There is pain in the space between us, old wounds and old scars...forever bleed, did we mistake love for an aching need There is an emptiness in the space between us, in my heart there's just vacancy ... loneliness keeps me company, with nothing left to hold us here... its safe to say ... we wont make the distance There is silence in the space between us, the words to save this just cant be found... listen close...as this love leaves...it makes no sound Sweetie this one has so many mirrors it's just scary...I remember this one and it hurt then but today it hurts even more...comfort is found in knowing though...you understand I know. ((**Angel Wing Hugs**)) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
late as ever, but I'm here now...I remember this one---how could I forget? Smile now. they're gonna rot behind them walls...a cyber high five, m'twin... |
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mariee66 Senior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 596Recess, OfYourMind |
This is excellent JM! I can relate to this, too...you've expressed this in a way that left me feeling chills. You're awesome! Marie~ |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
JM, Could nevr forget this one my friend. Ouch to the pain that must have inspired it. Lovely and heartfelt as always. Brought a tear to my eye . . . you know I know we wish we didn't . . . still. Sigh. Keep writing and healing my dear sweet friend. A rainbow will break those clouds one day soon. I know it. Lone Wolf Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility. --William Wordsworth |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Beautiful |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
There are many times when I read your your work and it is as though you have reached inside me and collected my feelings. This is one such time Janet. Great work from you as always and a worthy contender for the book. God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Unknown |
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angelswing Senior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 705United Kingdom |
Nice poem, i really enjoyed reading it . It has so many strong messages and truths in it, I could feel the hurt . L.of.L. Tom . p.s. Butterflies dont cry - Only when I can find someone who will let me ! ( Angel wing hugs ) . Thanks . Insanity is a perfectly normal responce to an abnormal world -R.D.Laing.- |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
I can not find the words to expression how I feel about the emotions of this poem except that it touched me deeply and I hope the words have helped to ease the hurt caused by that distance. "monuments put from pen to paper turns me into a gutless wonder" Manic street preachers |
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JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
I can realte to youe words here all too well, excellent poem......you have my vote...thanks for the post.....it made me feel like I am not the only one!!! Julie :) |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Janet Marie,...you've got me sort of sitting here with my elbow on the desk and my chin in my hand staring out in space thinking about this poem. WOW!!! It's wonderfully written. It has definately made it's way to my heart. Awesome work. Take care. *Peace. |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
I relate to this J.M. I posted a poem along similar lines but it was a shadow compared with this, excellent, you have my vote and well done, everything you write you teach me more about myself. Thank you Olias |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Oh Jan, I think we can all relate to this in some way. You write with such depth of emotions. Later Jan-Gator All my love, Jeffrey |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
JanetMarie....this poem is a MUST for the book.....My vote's in! |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Janny I remember this one and I'm glad you are submitting this to the book Love the read again...wonderful Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Excellent Janet, just excellent! I hate those distances. You have done a marvellous job of describing them and the effects they have. |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
ahhh, there's nothin like a good repost in the mornin'. =) will you analogic and metaphoric tongue ever cease to amaze? i must say i love the style and format i love the rhythm but the best part is the recurring theme that gets so beautifully manipulated w/o losing it's meaning. this is art. it really is. and i sense no bitterness... extremely well penned, good friend. thanks for reposting. *i strive to be you! you're my latest hero!*< !signature--> We all got our demons. We all got somethin' to atone for. [This message has been edited by Ethan_Halo (edited 07-01-2000).] |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Heart-breakingly beautiful, Janet Marie! Your words as ever grace the page they dance on. Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This is so beautifully expressed Janet Marie ... the distance just built throughout the poem until I could feel it myself! Excellent JM! (click) Best wishes, /Kit |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Thank you so very, very, much for your wonderful words. These replies are so amazing and so hearfelt by me. I appreciate them and you all more than my words can ever express... I grow a poet and a person in the light of this special place... take care my poet friends love and respect jm What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly ~LaoTzeTao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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shadow of poetry Member
since 2000-07-22
Posts 76midwest usa |
Im still amazed by this one the structure, repetition of verse,the rhyme and the emotion--just knock the wind out of me when I read it. my sister is the poet I am but a shadow by the light of poetry I read then dream |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Of course you have my vote!!!!! Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
This hurts real bad. To see you in such pain after all the smiles you have brought to me makes me want to hug you. I know this is from a while ago but if you still need that hug you got it. I have solid shoulders as well. Gets my vote |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Janet.. I especially love this one so I am back to vote... I love the depth of your feelings in this.....take your old poet friend... ethome... |
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