My sister's graduation(please reply i want this to be perfect when i give it to her!)

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Jenabou
Member

since 2000-06-13

Posts 215
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA

0 posted 2000-06-18 12:05 PM

So many things come to mind
when I try to find the words
to tell you how proud I am of
you and all you've accomplished.

Your graduation is
a very precious time. It brings
so many of your memories into focus, and
gives you so many things
to look forward to
in your tomorrows.

Today you take the first step into your new life
and i have to watch you leave
And all tho im crying i want you to know
i am so happy for you

And while you're out there
making a life for yourself
Everyday ill be thinking of you
and wondering how you are

i want to wish you good luck
and i hope all your dreams come true
but the most important thing i want to say is:

May every one of your tomorrows
be as beautiful as you are.

[This message has been edited by Jenabou (edited 06-18-2000).]

Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

1 posted 2000-06-18 01:36 PM

i think that was a beautiful poem. if someone gave me a poem like that when i graduated or even wrote it for me i would probably cry. i give you props for that poem it can really touch someones heart.

Angel
Senior Member

since 1999-07-02

Posts 551
Pennsylvania

2 posted 2000-06-18 04:06 PM

It's so wonderful you are so close to your sister

. This was a great poem and I'm sure she loved it.

~Susie

"If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."
~Henry W

Jenabou
Member

since 2000-06-13

Posts 215
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA

3 posted 2000-06-18 06:10 PM

thank you very much for the pleasent comments

me and my sis are best friends (most of the time) and im gonna give this to her on her graduation day,i havent given it to her yet.
is there anything i should change add/take away??
i want it to be perfect when i give it to her!

thanx!
~Jen~

[This message has been edited by Jenabou (edited 06-18-2000).]

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

4 posted 2000-06-18 06:12 PM

Jena, this poem is perfect just the way it is. I can really relate to it. My sister graduated two years ago, and I felt many of the same things.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde

Jenabou
Member

since 2000-06-13

Posts 215
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA

5 posted 2000-06-18 06:28 PM

thanx lovebug
i just wnna make sure this is as good as it can be

~Jen~

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member

since 2000-06-08

Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S

6 posted 2000-06-18 06:36 PM

very good poem. and hey it is the best it can be because it came from your heart and that the greatest gift.

I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul

Angela16
Junior Member

since 1999-11-19

Posts 37
USA

7 posted 2000-06-18 06:37 PM

I think that was a really great poem! That was how I felt when my sis graduated. You put it into words nicely. Good job!

Jenabou
Member

since 2000-06-13

Posts 215
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA

8 posted 2000-06-18 07:43 PM

thank you
it did coem form my heart!
and if you guys have no suggestions to make it better then i guess this is the final copy!
thanx again
~Jen~

Snickers
Member

since 2000-05-25

Posts 88
East Haddam, CT

9 posted 2000-06-18 09:02 PM

Jen,
I agree with everyone else that this is so very beautiful and no need to change anything. It's so sweet and beautiful, and very nicely worded. I especially like the way you ended. Not only are you a talented poet, but you are a caring sister. Let us know what your sister's reaction is, I'm sure she'll luv it!

~<3 Alwayz~
**Nikki**

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member

since 2000-06-18

Posts 733

10 posted 2000-06-18 09:08 PM

That was really good. I don't think you need to change anything. She'll love it!
-Bel

Ethan Halo
Senior Member

since 2000-04-28

Posts 793
on the roof again

11 posted 2000-06-19 01:12 PM

great poem. i hope i get something like that when i graduate next year. it's good you are so close to your family. everyone should be so lucky. =)

p.s.
don't change a thing!

We all got somethin' we need to atone for.

Jenabou
Member

since 2000-06-13

Posts 215
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA

12 posted 2000-06-19 01:43 PM

thanx yall

Jenabou
Member

since 2000-06-13

Posts 215
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA

13 posted 2000-06-21 04:43 PM

oops!

[This message has been edited by Jenabou (edited 06-21-2000).]

**AANGELLE**
Junior Member

since 2000-06-21

Posts 45

14 posted 2000-06-21 06:17 PM

This is a lovely poem. I wish I felt the same way aout my sisters but we all can't be friends eh? Maybe in the future.. Your poem made me think about it anyway... Well done!!

ValerieB726
Junior Member

since 2000-06-21

Posts 14
Louisville,OH, USA

15 posted 2000-06-21 06:42 PM

Your poem was great! If I received that poem on my gradudation, I would definetly love my sister even more for thinking of me like that! Great Job!

Jenabou
Member

since 2000-06-13

Posts 215
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA

16 posted 2000-06-22 11:13 AM

Thank you
Thank you very much

< !signature-->

The world is like a mirror; frown at it, and it frowns at you.Smile and it smiles too
Be kind 4 everyone u meet is fighting a harder battle

[This message has been edited by Jenabou (edited 06-22-2000).]

mr0001
Junior Member

since 2000-06-09

Posts 39

17 posted 2000-07-25 09:00 PM

very good -- very very very good

bye now i'm sure you've given this to your sister already, but even if i'd read it earlier, i'd have no suggestions! good work.

mr

"crazy" is just who you are...amplified.

some people draw the outlines in life, i chose to add the color.

Euclid the Kid
Member

since 2000-07-15

Posts 51
Eugene,Oregon

18 posted 2000-07-25 10:31 PM

This is the perfect gift. It's from you--It's from the heart- and it will be a constant remider to your sister how much you do love & miss her. I hope you print it out and frame it- so that she can display and treasure it always. Good Show! (Dean)... the Kid

Lovely_Kris
Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 176

19 posted 2000-07-26 06:07 AM

Very good I think this is a great gift. I think you did a great job and i hope to read more.
Lovely_Kris

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

20 posted 2000-07-26 06:59 AM

Oh Jen ... this was just beautiful! What a heart-felt tribute to your sister ... lovely!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

21 posted 2000-07-27 02:30 AM

I wouldn't change a thing about this poem...It is perfect. Leaving out a rhyme scheme or normal rhythm actually gave it a really sentimental quality...admirable work.

Jeremy

"Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade."

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

22 posted 2007-12-15 10:17 PM

Very Much Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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