Teen Poetry #3 |
Screwing up |
TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Pass the pipe hit the bong Where did my life suddenly go wrong I'm lying here it's a quater to three And for some reason I can barely see The next thing I know I hear people running in to my place As I noticed a puddle of blood by my face The last thing I heard was the police officer let out a sigh And explaining to my parents how I was going to die I am only 15 i kept trying to say Asking myself why I couldn't have lived my life better way My life could have been happy instaed of being sad Now that I'm dead I feel really bad I always had to act so tough For my family and friends it must have been rough Why couldn't have I listened to what they had said Because if I would have I probably wouldn't be dead! Lauren |
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Lovely_Kris Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 176 |
wounderful poem. I think you did a great job and i hope to read more. Lovely_Kris |
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TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa |
Wow! There are so many times I feel that all I can do is screw up, like tonight for example, I just have this way to make people angry at me by doing nothing at all...sounds weird hey...? Any way, the second poem I read, and I love it as well! It's also about you dying, I think you have a great mind and a wonderful imagination and God gave you an excellent talent. Keep it up. Waves...amazing hey? Wind blowing over smoothe ocean water creates shear. The longer the wind blows, and the futher the fetch, the more energy gets transferred from the wind to the water. What started off as a breeze 1 000km away, ends up as a glass-faced barrel at some far off beach. |
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Kyle Finn Junior Member
since 2000-08-05
Posts 36Linn, MO USA |
wow goo poem and you said ya liked mine and wanna see more well look under Kyle aka Huck...i had to switch names i didnt like that one but this poem is great i liked it, keep it up |
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Lone Insomniac Junior Member
since 2000-08-05
Posts 45 |
whoa !!! that poem is f*cking great !!! there aren't many better poems on this site...they're all about love...this one is way better !!! hhmm...heck I just want to know HOW U died !!! |
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SweetPoet17 Member
since 2000-08-04
Posts 108 |
That is an excellent poem, I am in tears... ( Drugs... can be so dangerous if they arent used with control. I cant say That I have never used, but I can say, that I would never let myself get to the point of "out of control" with the use of any type of narcotic. I wish more people realized the affects of drugs... They are deadly... ( awesome poem truly keep up the good work! -jessica- |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
great poem about the truth in life....hopefully this has happened to someone you know and you aren't really dead cause that's hard to believe. anyways great poem and a great read.... Salooma |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Thanx to everyone who responded it has motivated me to want to write a lot more poems! Lauren |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
2 thumbs up for you...i like this one...it makes me think...keep up the good work!!! ~No one is worth your tears, and the one who is wont make you cry~ ~We all cant be stars but we all can twinkle~ |
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