Teen Poetry #3 |
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Any ideas for a title? |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
if only i wasn't intagled in this web of fevorous thoughs if only i could escape my mind full of dreams caught in masks of decieving faces none to understand my hands cannot write enough for words come shrewdly fast in veiled insainity my tounge ever silienced with whips and deadly scorns beating within my cheast my legs enveloped by a blender of emotion unable to dismiss the wild shake that recks in a bitter fashion my lips drawn to silient motions for things that shouldn't be said have exited the innermost banks my heart in fear of losing a friend i never truely befriended and never could have comprehended [This message has been edited by Ron (06-25-2011 10:09 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Salooma - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
Very nice poem. I can feel the emotion. I enjoyed reading it tremendously. You might try calling it "If only" |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Excellent poem, I enjoyed it a lot. You could call it "Silence Speaks Alone" or something. Good job! |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Thanks a lot you guys....I haven't decided yet, but I'll keep your titles in mind. I really like Silience Speaks Alone.... Thanks, Salooma |
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mystique Junior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 22 |
I really enjoyed this poem. But you know if there is no title it leaves it mysterious. Let people guess! Thanks again for your encouraging words. mystique |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
Great poem. Keep up the good work. Chel "True friends stab you in the front" "True love last forever" |
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Tara Member
since 2000-02-21
Posts 76Minnesota |
Loved it lots. I like silence speaks alone too. that sounds really cool. Cant' wait to read more.....Tara |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
thanks a lot you guys i appreciate your comments....i guess i'm gonna leave it like this for a while and let people tell they're sugustions.... salooma but i'm still liking "silience speaks alone" thanks jeremy. |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Thanks Salooma. It just came to mind. Im flattered you'd name it that. Good Luck and keep writing! ,._-=-~^* Jeremy *^~-=-_., |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Salooma, I enjoyed this poem a lot... thanks for sharing... I would have called this "Caught In A Web", but you could call it anything, it woudl remain a good poem all the same... regards, sudhir |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Very good. I liked it a lot. Keep writing Bel |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Thanks for the comments....I like "Caught in a Web" as well Sudhir, but I don't know yet. I guess naming it would give the mystery away as you said mystique and I kinda like the mystery in it. Thanks again for the kind words! Salooma |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A |
"Internally Yours" would be a nice title I think...actually, I like that one, so if you don't use it, I will..hehe. Your words of my poetry were so kind and now and dwell in your shadow...how ironic. "Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade." |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Thanks a lot Jeremy...kinda confusing with two of you. Anyways another wonderful title, but I think I'll go with mystique's advice and go with nothing for now, so you are free to use it as you please, but be sure to post it as well! I'm glad you decided to continue writing, I'm sure in a couple more years you will be too! Salooma |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Salma~This is wonderful...I dont know how I missed it...And I am truely sorry...Thank you for sharing it...Even if my post is just a little bit late...Good job!!! ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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Jacman Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291Dwight Il, US |
Hi Salma, If you wanted to you could call it pizza, rigatoni, lasagna, or macaroni and cheese. Oh wait that wasn't me talking, I am just starving to death. Seriously though, I'm horrible at titles. I usually just pick one line out of the poem, or I'll just think of a title and write the poem around it. But who cares what I do, because you did a great job on this poem. Whatever you call it. ![]() jason ![]() I'm not concieted...I'm convinced. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
......oops ![]() ![]() [This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 10-04-2000).] |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I'm bad with titles too, so I can't help you there. I really like this poem though ![]() "my heart in fear of losing a friend i never truely befriended and never could have comprehended" |
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