»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #3
»
in the dumps
| Teen Poetry #3 |
|
in the dumps |
|
|
anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
We are all in the dumps with jack and guy i think i see a shadow drifting by I am a prisoner without a name And i live in a cell that likes to play games. the unimportance of being me makes me feel so vividly free The last voyage of somebody the sailor just reminded me to find a tailor These bugs on my skin, they make me so thin and i think i might be loosing my chin I see projections on the wall they come from my inner deeper call Does love exist? Can it be bliss? or maybe i'm thinking of a tall There is a man that makes me try we both like to get high and die I think of him and think of me but i don't think we were meant to be We are all in the dumps with jack and guy but now there are no shadows drifting by only a body that's empty of pie and no longer has the will to survive. Can i educate the wandering man? or shall i die living a lie? an eye for an eye the way we die these bugs are so big yet i can fly. So when you think of something insane You'll think of me but wonder wasn't he plain? |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Alexei - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Snickers Member
since 2000-05-25
Posts 88East Haddam, CT |
This is very different. I don't really understand what your trying to say. Would you mind clarifying it for little ol me?? ~<3 Alwayz~ **Nikki** |
||
|
Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
wow. hmmmm.... lol I'm kind of speechless! I definitely get the feeling that there is something very deep and meaningful hidden beneath those strange words. I'm not quite sure what it means though, or maybe I'm just to tired to try and figure it out. Anywho, like Snickers said, could u please explain it a little, because I would really like to know what your saying here. I have the impression that its something I would really love if I saw the meaning behind it. Thanx bunches!  ~~~Kris~~~ ~*All that I have found in reason is reason just to not believe *~ ~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~ |
||
|
anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
i think i will list the subjects this poem deals with..ok it has to do with being a child and being overlooked and underestimated...feeling like a prisoner to the world in which it does what it likes to me..self-portrayal...questioning the meaningness of my own existence...and it also expresses hope..being able to fly away from your troubles.. a sense of better things that might come. well i hope that helps you understand this poem more. |
||
|
anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
...and please get back to me on your thoughts about it now. thanks |
||
|
Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Welcome to Passions  . This was...interesting. I didn't exactly get it at first, but the explanation helped a whole lot. I think it was really unique and you have a great way of expressing yourself. I liked it a lot...even if I didn't completely get it  ~Susie "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility." ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Driftwood" |
||
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
To tell you the truth, I'm alittle lost here. I read your explanation to the other people who replied, but I am still in the dark. I do understand the part where the world tries to dictate what they see in us. But, I would love to have you explain this poem more to me. Specially, the bugs...they must signify something which I can't point out. You have a very deep way of expressing yourself. That is really good. Your way with word is brilliant... hope to hear from you I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I think I get the general idea behind this one, but I wouldn't be able to explain my thoughts easily. I like this a lot! |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Anomaly i think this poem really kicked ass, I saw some ryhme and i hardly ever see that in your poetry. believe it or not, i think you're pretty damn good at ryhme and stuff. GREAT!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Well, maybe your explanation helped a little, but I couldn't explain this one to somebody if I was at gunpoint. I understand there are good points behind this, and I'm sure it's chockful of symbolism (i.e. the bugs, the body with no pie, a playful prison cell) I'm sorry I just don't understand the piece. But that's probably just me!< !signature-->"He's mastered the art, of looking sincere, his eyes have a way, of making you stay, don't look in the mirror"- Chely Wright [This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 10-04-2000).] |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
