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Teen Poetry #3
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Please, Just Tell Me Why
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Please, Just Tell Me Why |
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Bunny Junior Member
since 2000-05-13
Posts 30 |
Confusion burns a blackened scar onto her fair skin It is a knife, stuck in her, forever twisting, driving deeper And now she is cast out and unloved Left with only the memory of what used to be And yet she knows not why She calls out in a dark room Reaching, searching for an understanding that does not come And as the room grows colder and closes in around her, she reaches something A feeling of peace and comfort consume her as she grasps what she thiks is the love she lost And then, emtiness breaks hard over her as she looks up Only to see hatred gazing unforgivingly back at her And so the knife drives deeper And hatred pulls her down farther And now she is made to walk the burning plains of hunger and despair Forever carrying the weight of her confusion and despair, Never finding that understanding she craves abovr life itself But it is too late, For confusion burns a blackened scar onto her fair skin, Marring her beauty and forcing her to scream out in silence... |
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| © Copyright 2000 Bunny - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Wow. Very deep and mournful. I especially like the contradiction in the last line: Scream out in silence. Nice play on words. You're very talented. Much Love Kandi ~*All that I have found in reason is reason just to not believe *~ ~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~ |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Forever carrying the weight of her confusion and despair, The poem was really powerful..those were my favorite lines. I liked it a lot  ~Susie "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility." ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Driftwood" |
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Novacaine For The Soul Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122New Orleans |
dear bunny, i have to admit that i didn't expect too much deep and mournful stuff from someone with a cutsie name like "bunny", but you've certainly broken that sterotype of mine *hehe*... i love the first line... absolutely love it... *heh* after having just read The Lord of the Flies for the third time, the phrase "blackened scar" brings up perhaps far too many frightening images *heh*... anyway... a superb job.... sincerely, a sad tomato you're such a beautiful freak... i wish there were more just like you... |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
Nicely done! I love the way you piece all of your words together! Very mournful. I hope that was what you were going for because you did a wonderful job of conveying it! Kudos!  Love ALways~*~Jessica~*~  "Love is the product of our discontentment with ourselves." "Bleeding hearts release tears of fire" "work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt,and live everyday as if it's your last" "Shoot for the moon, if you shall fall short, you always have the stars to fall upon" |
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