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Teen Poetry #3
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The Scent of Ashes
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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The Scent of Ashes |
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Heidi New Member
since 2000-07-20
Posts 2 |
This is my first poem posted here. Please be nice  ) This poem is about my experiences after my house burned down last year.I don't care to go back there A pit of darkness Stale air, damp thoughts . . . and everything smells like ashes Your pillow reeks of it That pungent sharp odor of burnt rubber has inhabited your nostrils And all the while you are falling Like being trapped in the front seat of a rollercoaster You rise higher and higher "It's gonna happen, it's gonna happen." You don't know when- you can't see it Then a violent freefall It hurts so bad you can't even scream And it's so real -Vivid- as white and stark as the ravenous teeth of a coyote There's no escaping the pain A thousand voices and hands reach into the darkness, trying to pull you out But you just paint on a thick plastic smile and recite your thank you's, and fall back into the shadows They have forgotten you now Eventually you may pull yourself out of the pit, But the scent of ashes forever resides within You |
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| © Copyright 2000 Heidi - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Welcome to Passions! This is a wonderful first post. You have risen from the ashes to become a wonderful poet.  "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope things are looking better for you now...and as for the ashes, well you have taken all that pain and anguish and turned it into wonderful imagery! Keep up the good work! I hope to see lots more from you! Love Always~*~Jessica~*~ p.s. Welcome to Passions!!! *~* I wIsH I wAs A LiTTlE gIrL aGaIn; SkInNeD kNeEs AnD bRuIsEd ElBoWs ArE eAsIeR tO hEaL tHaN a BrOkEn HeArT!*~* |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Welcome to Passions Heidi! This is such in intense first post, and straight from the heart. I hope time will heal some of the memories soon. Check your e-mail for a special message. Best wishes, /Kit |
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Kittie Member
since 2000-07-08
Posts 103 |
Great job, it's a great start also! You have excellent talent and I hope to read more! The topic is great and it's a great poem altogether. Kittie |
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BabyGirl1 Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 91Morris, IL |
Welcome. This was a wonderful first poem. You show such feeling and you can tell that that house had such meaning to you. I love all of the imagery. It's as if I can see and smell all of the ashes. Great work and I can't wait to read more. "We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can fly only by embracing each other." -Luciano de Crescenzo- |
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buttercup411 Junior Member
since 2000-07-03
Posts 41miami, fl, u.s |
welcome to passions my darling.. great use of words!! keep your head up love, butter |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
A tragic event but some phenomenal poetry here Heidi! Welcome To Passions, you are a great edition to the family! *Krista Knutson* "You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." -Barbara DeAngelis |
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Vball Chickie1624 Member
since 2000-05-14
Posts 116New York |
This is a great poem. I love it. I'm sorry to hear that you lost your house. I hope that you're doing better. Also Welcome to passions...great first post, I'll look forward to reading more! Keep writing and have fun! Love ya Danielle "Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you |
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Lovely_Kris Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 176 |
welcome to passions. I hope you like it here i do. I like your poem. Very good. I hope to read more and keep up the good work! Lovely_Kris |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
The language you use is beyond brilliant...i liked your other poem as well, and this is 'wow'...welcome to passions! "Controlling my feelings for too long.... And forcing our darkest souls to unfold... And pushing us into self-destruction...." *~Muse*~ |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
welcome to passions!!! i hope that you enjoy it here as much as i do...i am sorry to hear of your loss...keep up the good work... ~IF YOU WANT SOMETHING VERY BADLY~SET IT FREE~IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU~ITS YOURS FOREVER~IF IT DOESNT IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH~ |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I'm sorry that this happened to you, Heidi. Welcome to Passions! Elizabeth Why ME??? |
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