navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » what I could ask you
Teen Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic what I could ask you Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
jennie may*
Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 122


0 posted 2000-07-18 01:39 AM


he promised me
a million promises

I ate them up

and spit them back out
soon after

I turned my eyes
I lost a smile
you suffocated an
innocent girl
in me

how many masks can a
man
wear?


how many
white lies
turned
rotten
in my palms?


I spend hours
in a day
wishing

I could ask you
just
that


© Copyright 2000 jennie may* - All Rights Reserved
Chel
Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA
1 posted 2000-07-18 08:34 AM


Very intriguing.  I enjoyed it.  It kind of left in wonder, but maybe that was just me.  Keep up the good work.

Chel


"True friends stab you in the front"
"Always do your best, you will always succeed"

Vball Chickie1624
Member
since 2000-05-14
Posts 116
New York
2 posted 2000-07-18 09:15 AM


Good poem...I like the way you set it up..it's different.  Have fun and keep writing.

love ya
Danielle  

"Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

3 posted 2000-07-18 12:21 PM


Very thought-provoking piece, my friend. I love the structure!   Keep up the good work!

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2000-07-18 01:37 PM


Hmmmmmmmmm.....
Short and straight to the point
keep up the good work

Snickers
Member
since 2000-05-25
Posts 88
East Haddam, CT
5 posted 2000-07-18 05:10 PM


I like it.  Very well-done.

~<3 Alwayz~
  **Nikki**


~*~*~*~*"We can complain because roses have thorns, or we can rejoice because thorns have roses." *~*~*~*~

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
6 posted 2007-12-02 12:57 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » what I could ask you

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary