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Teen Poetry #3
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Life Awaits You
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Life Awaits You |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A 
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Just so ya'll know. The rhyme scheme in this is kinda vauge. It comes at the end of every stanza...not that I think yer all dumb or anything, I just get paranoid about how people read my stuff. < !signature-->Thanx and enjoy. Life Awaits You Fly free. You're being held captive. Stark black and chilled, this prison hates you. Don't stay. You need not be here. All of your fantasies are meant to be true. Leave now. You're bound so unfairly. Not by the forces of hate that you find. By you. You are your captor. You are the victim, leashed by your mind. It's time. Your wings are unused. Allow them beat, for they are your heart. Take flight. Begin an endevour. I swear by the light beyond all your dark. Jeremy D. Halstead 7/17/00 "Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade." [This message has been edited by Jeremy Halstead (edited 07-17-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeremy D. Halstead - All Rights Reserved | |||
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DJLI Member
since 2000-06-21
Posts 237TN, USA |
I know what you mean about having people read you writings...I was really nervous about net-poets at first but I've grown to love it.  as far as your poem, I think its great.EVEN ANGELS FALL. |
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Vball Chickie1624 Member
since 2000-05-14
Posts 116New York |
Yea..I get paranoid about how people read my poetry too...but just to tell you, you have nothing to worry about your poems are beautiful...every single one of them I've read and of course this one is too. Very deep and good message. Keep writing. Love ya, Danielle "Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
Jeremy, I loved it. It was beautiful just like every other one. I hope you keep up the good work. Chel "True friends stab you in the front" "Always do your best, you will always succeed" |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I, too, am very paranoid about my pieces. That's why you don't see me posting a whole lot. But believe me, you have no reason to be shy about your writing. This is a beautiful piece that applies to so many people. Thank you for sharing it. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Jeremy you make me jealous!! That was yet another great one. Keep up your writing Bel |
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Kittie Member
since 2000-07-08
Posts 103 |
Great poem, I really like it and it's very powerful. The rhyme at the end of every stanza is really nice, and makes everything link together, great job! Kittie |
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BabyGirl1 Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 91Morris, IL |
Great poem Jeremy. You have absolutely no reason to be paranoid about your writing its great. Love always, BabyGirl1 "We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can fly only by embracing each other." -Luciano de Crescenzo- |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Very talented writing Jeremy! There is no need to worry about how your poems come across Jeremy ... each one is it's own unique masterpiece. Beautiful sentiments, and a lovely form here ... it flowed very nicely! Best wishes, /Kit |
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TAP2 Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 211Morris, Il USA |
And once again you have my vote. Very moving piece for all those who feel they are held captive in their own world. Don't worry, I read it right before I read the message at the top. Thomas A Plemmons "I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss The Dance" -Garth Brooks- |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I think everyone is paranoid about how others see there poems. It could be misread or misinterpreted. I think no matter what, a poem is always gonna be beautiful because it's an expression of ones feelings and thoughts. Great work!!! |
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cutie2005 Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 148Bennett, Colorado USA |
Hey this was a great poem!! I also know what you mean by people reading the things you write, cuz everyone reads stuff in different ways! And it is written in the way that you read it... So It is hard to tell on how other people are reading it!! I loved it though good job.. Love ya, cutie If you love someone you would go to the end of the world for them! |
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Snickers Member
since 2000-05-25
Posts 88East Haddam, CT |
Well, like always, amazing work!! Your words just come to life and I absolutley luv it! ~<3 AlwayZ~ **Nikki** ~*~*~*~*"We can complain because roses have thorns, or we can rejoice because thorns have roses." *~*~*~*~ |
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Rachel Turner Junior Member
since 2000-07-15
Posts 16Judsonia, Arkansas |
I, myself, like others, am paranoid at the way people read my poems but your poem is great and the ryhming in the last stanza's are very good also!!! Keep Writing!! with love, Rachel |
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TrueLUV Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 158Connecticut, U.S.A. |
Hye Jeremy I loved your poem listen your kind of is an inspiration hope to read more of your stuff~~~ and I hope you read some of mine TrueLUV [This message has been edited by TrueLUV (edited 07-19-2000).] |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
well my hubby, you never cease to amaze me...as for the shyness or paranoia, I know you better than that! Unleash the Jeremy I know, well keep it censored, but you kow what I mean. lol!  and as for my life awaiting me...I'm not too sure about that one, but Bryon awaits me! hehe. I'll fill ya in on all the details of the long awaited date later! LOVE YA KID!! Love Always~*~Jess~*~*~* I wIsH I wAs A LiTTlE gIrL aGaIn; SkInNeD kNeEs AnD bRuIsEd ElBoWs ArE eAsIeR tO hEaL tHaN a BrOkEn HeArT!*~* |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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