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Teen Poetry #3
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Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA

0 posted 2000-07-12 09:38 PM


First off I would like to thank everyone who has been so kind as to giving me feedback on my first poem, I really didn't think it was all that great but everyone of you made my day better, thanks!! I hope I don't sound too conceited  

07.10.00

She sits all alone cringing in desparation
To rid herself of her surroundings
Vain attempts written upon crumpled paper
Words and images pulsate and brand her brain
Sounds, taste and smell swirl through her head
Blocking all possible sound of nearby annoyances
But all of this doesn't calm the storm rising in her heart
She knows it won't be able to last long
Aware of the upcoming event...
The bell..ringing, echoing in her ears
Swarming of children running to the door
For their next class
And she knows she can't hold up for much longer
The jeers, the snickers
The unacceptance
But for what?
She is no different
She is human, all body parts intact
But all she knows she dreads each coming day
All alone, even her friends stand in her way
Of any sight of a bright and beatiful day...




"Let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night"

~Crash and Burn~

© Copyright 2000 Kristen Brandon - All Rights Reserved
Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793
on the roof again
1 posted 2000-07-12 10:30 PM


a very good portrait of unacceptance. you've captured it. no one should feel this way, but sadly, many of us do. i have read both of your works, and your style is quite unique. it has rhythm like i've not seen and there aren't any rhymes, but that seems to add flavor than detract anything. i like it a lot. good work.

We all got our demons.
We all got somethin' to atone for.

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A
2 posted 2000-07-13 05:54 AM


Wow..I never heard this one.  I always knew you were an excellent writer, but until I read it on here, I never realized just how amazing you are at it.  You truly have an unexplainable gift with words...more so than I do and I can proudly admit that.  Keep us entertained.  I'll call this weekend..write me.

Jeremy

"Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade."

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
3 posted 2000-07-13 06:38 AM


Powerfully written Ceinwyn! You have a beautiful style and form in your writings, the flow is lovely.  You've expressed yourself well in this poem ... many of us have felt this way at one time or another. Please know that you are accepted here as all others who grace the walls of Passions with their wonderful poetry!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Jacman
Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291
Dwight Il, US
4 posted 2000-07-13 10:49 AM


Reading this brought tears to my eyes.  I can remember so vividly how it felt to never be accepted by anyone no matter what I did, or how hard I tried.  I'm so glad that I learned how to accept myself.  And if this still haunts you, you simply need to fall in love with you.  I hope to see more of your work because it truly is magnificent.  Keep it coming.

jason

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
5 posted 2007-12-01 11:04 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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