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Teen Poetry #3
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Unaccepted
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Unaccepted |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA 
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First off I would like to thank everyone who has been so kind as to giving me feedback on my first poem, I really didn't think it was all that great but everyone of you made my day better, thanks!! I hope I don't sound too conceited  07.10.00 She sits all alone cringing in desparation To rid herself of her surroundings Vain attempts written upon crumpled paper Words and images pulsate and brand her brain Sounds, taste and smell swirl through her head Blocking all possible sound of nearby annoyances But all of this doesn't calm the storm rising in her heart She knows it won't be able to last long Aware of the upcoming event... The bell..ringing, echoing in her ears Swarming of children running to the door For their next class And she knows she can't hold up for much longer The jeers, the snickers The unacceptance But for what? She is no different She is human, all body parts intact But all she knows she dreads each coming day All alone, even her friends stand in her way Of any sight of a bright and beatiful day... "Let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night" ~Crash and Burn~ |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kristen Brandon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
a very good portrait of unacceptance. you've captured it. no one should feel this way, but sadly, many of us do. i have read both of your works, and your style is quite unique. it has rhythm like i've not seen and there aren't any rhymes, but that seems to add flavor than detract anything. i like it a lot. good work. We all got our demons. We all got somethin' to atone for. |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A |
Wow..I never heard this one. I always knew you were an excellent writer, but until I read it on here, I never realized just how amazing you are at it. You truly have an unexplainable gift with words...more so than I do and I can proudly admit that. Keep us entertained. I'll call this weekend..write me. Jeremy "Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade." |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Powerfully written Ceinwyn! You have a beautiful style and form in your writings, the flow is lovely. You've expressed yourself well in this poem ... many of us have felt this way at one time or another. Please know that you are accepted here as all others who grace the walls of Passions with their wonderful poetry! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Jacman Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291Dwight Il, US |
Reading this brought tears to my eyes. I can remember so vividly how it felt to never be accepted by anyone no matter what I did, or how hard I tried. I'm so glad that I learned how to accept myself. And if this still haunts you, you simply need to fall in love with you. I hope to see more of your work because it truly is magnificent. Keep it coming. jason  |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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