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Teen Poetry #3
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i need help with a title!
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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i need help with a title! |
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Jenabou Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 215Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA 
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i can feel everyone falling away from me you are leaving when i need you most. there is no one left to lean on. when you needed someone i was always first in line i was always there to led a hand and an ear i was alwyas there to help you out Now i am the one who needs assistance and you have ran from me all i wanted was a friend all i needed was someone to listen But now you dont care about me somone better came along im made to believe you never were my friend i was jsut there for a good time Now that you've found her you dont need me but now that you've found her i need you more then ever my life is falling apart and your not there to help me put it back together you always used to be... i guess im not important anymore but you still mean the world to me your still my # 1 and i still need you now more then ever ~The world is like a mirror; frown at it, and it frowns at you. Smile and it smiles, too.~ **Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder bat |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jenna-Nicole Boutilier - All Rights Reserved | |||
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TAP2 Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 211Morris, Il USA |
How about "Now More Than Ever"? Beautiful poem. Liked it alot. It hurts when we are cast to the side for another. Chin up, you'll see better days. Thomas "I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss The Dance" -Garth Brooks- |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is such a sad poem. I know what it's like to be left behind by what used to be a "good friend". I'm not very good with titles (as you know if you've read any of my work), but I think that "Now More Than Ever" is a good title. Best of luck in the future. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
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Jenabou Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 215Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA |
thank you all. yeah it does hurt.......a lot but im strong so ill get thru it |
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Snickers Member
since 2000-05-25
Posts 88East Haddam, CT |
Jenabou, This is so beautiful yet so sad. You did write it well though and I can sense exactly how you're feeling. I'm so sorry you have to feel this way. I've been in your shoes more than once and I know what it feels like. I also know that you will feel better eventually. If you need to talk or just need somebody to listen, don't hesitate to e-mail me at Snickers_2000@webtv.net Good luck. ~<3 Alwayz~ **Nikki** ~*~*~*~*"We can complain because roses have thorns, or we can rejoice because thorns have roses." *~*~*~*~ |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
jenabou, very heartfelt and sorrowful. i know where you are and the thought that got me thru was "if you're already at the bottom of the barrel, the only place left to go is up." so in that light, i certainly hope you've hit rock bottom, 'cause now you can move up. as for a title, how about "Learning to Stand" or just "standing" or somethin. that's the vibe i got from this work. you're tryin to stand on your own. good work. thanks for postin. and good luck. We all got our demons. We all got somethin' to atone for. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
I'm glad to read you feel strong and will get through it Jenabou, it often helps to write those feelings out to help work through it ... you've done that well! I like Thomas' title too "Now More than Ever" ... great suggestion. Best wishes, /Kit |
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Lovely_Kris Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 176 |
I think you did a great job. I think well written. i also think this also a sad poem because you were there for that person but that person was never there for you. I hope to read more. Lovely_Kris |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
damn this is a good poem...i know what you are going through...i was there for a friend at one point...but when i needed her she wasnt there...looks like i was wasting my time...but oh well one day this person will want you there when they need someone the most...just dont let them get the best of you...do be there for them...show them that you care as much as you thought they did... ~IF YOU WANT SOMETHING VERY BADLY~SET IT FREE~IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU~ITS YOURS FOREVER~IF IT DOESNT IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH~ |
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amazon_lover Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491Dublin,Ireland |
nice read..it takes time and take control of yourself when others do leave... Sincerely a_L |
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Phoebee Junior Member
since 2000-07-09
Posts 42Peoria, AZ |
It's sad what people do to one another; how can we hurt eachother so badly?? I don't understand it. You poem is beautiful. "Everything happens for a reason!" |
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Jacman Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291Dwight Il, US |
This is a very sad poem. You did a wonderful job at bringing that accross. I have to agree with Ethan on the vibe of this poem. My title would be "on my own." That is also a very beautiful song from the musical Les Miserable. Something else that is sad. Well on a happy note, I sure hope that you can find your confidant, or that you can find enough strengh in yourself to carry on. Jason  |
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BabyGirl1 Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 91Morris, IL |
This is a very good poem, but also very sad. I too know what it is like to have your friends turn on you when you need them the most. My friends were not there for me during the hardest thing I have gone through in life. But I found strength in myself and my family and thats what got me through. Best wishes to you and your friend. I have to agree with Thomas on his title. "We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can fly only by embracing each other." -Luciano de Crescenzo- |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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