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Teen Poetry #3
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The 4th of July
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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The 4th of July |
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Linzi Junior Member
since 2000-07-08
Posts 35Pennsylvania, USA |
5 am 4th of July You comment on the starry sky The cold grass And sharp night air Nowhere I'd rather be than there But it's late, Sleep calls Fall off the ground And float to your door Like no one's around Tiptoe loudly Down the stairs And ignore your bold, and close-eyed stare Climb, lazily, into your head And pull the covers over my eyes Scent of cologne on your pillow Swin high through your complex mind Just being here Amongst your posessions I feel complete and lost in obsession Warmth fills the air and daybreak fills my soul I know i'll have to leave with the stars But right now I know I'm home Drift off to sleep With a smile on my breath You, all around me A haze in my head It's quiet now Just you and I Here in my dreams On the 4th of July I just finished this one, So it's still kind of rough, but I'd like to see what everyone thinks. And I'd also like to say thanks to everyone that's responded to the few poems I've already posted, Thanks, it really means a lot!! ~*~Linzi~*~ "Ignore reality; there's nothing you can do about it" ~ Natalie Imbruglia |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lindsay Yurcaba - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kittie Member
since 2000-07-08
Posts 103 |
This is a great poem, and the ending was great. I was really.. I don't know, it has a certain feeling to it that I can't identify, but it's great. Keep up the great work! |
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Linzi Junior Member
since 2000-07-08
Posts 35Pennsylvania, USA |
Thanks so much! ~*~Linzi~*~ "Ignore reality; there's nothing you can do about it" ~ Natalie Imbruglia |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I'm locking this thread because you also posted it in the "Voices of the web" forum, and double-posts are not allowed. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
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