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Teen Poetry #3
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Cloud Life
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Cloud Life |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A 
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We're all clouds. Cloud Life Drifting briskly or softly perhaps along my windy path- I'm like a simple cloud. Life for me is never safe. Security is not aloud. On my way across the sky, I flutter so blindly. I always want to stay. But I'm a cloud or so I feel. I stay just for the day. Fate sets in upon my existence again and again and again. Now I shall come down. Raining down from heaven to hell... my future is not my own. The steam will bring me up again to float across the sky. To a new form, I will mend. Never fear to those who hate me, I shall rain again. Jeremy D. Halstead 12-22-99 "Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade." |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeremy D. Halstead - All Rights Reserved | |||
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AndrewDL Junior Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 24California |
I thought that was a great poem. The way you used clouds as a metaphor of what everyone goes through in life is great. The last stanza, I thought, was the best - it signified the completion of the cycle, that you can be struck down but never destroyed. Beautiful work, keep it up. -Andrew Trust too much, and you may be deceived, but trust too little and you will live in torment forever. |
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sorrowfulangel Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 59Memphis,TN |
i love the way you compare yourself to a cloud. it's different,and it makes sense. i guess i'll have to try harder to show you doll -laughs- "god is the biggest under-achiever I know,something good happens god is great,something bad happens,he now works in mysterious ways" |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Excellent image-filled comparisons Jeremy! Your descriptions bring images directly to mind ... wonderful verse! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
I loved the poem and images. I also liked the analogies. Keep it up. Chel "True friends stab you in the front" |
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Jacman Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291Dwight Il, US |
Well, Jer, I guess that I missed this one some how. I really like the comparisons in this poem. I really liked the "I shall rain again," it is very clever. Keep it up. jason |
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BabyGirl1 Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 91Morris, IL |
I have known you for so long and never realized that you had this much talent!! Your poetry is wonderful! I really like this one. The idea of clouds is great. I am happy that you finally figured out who I am. I did give Leksie a kiss from you! |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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