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Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA

0 posted 2001-01-09 10:19 PM


About a year ago my friend and I made a magazine for teens as a school project. This was published in it-- anonymously. I hated it... I was like embarassed of it for some reason. But now, I can gladly take credit for it, good or not   Definately not my normal style now, but lemme know what ya think!

…To Wake Again

Seagulls circle in the sky above me
As I walk on the soft, sandy shore.
The sinking sun burns across the heavens
Creating a breathtaking scene,
Orange, pink, purple, and blue.
The heat caresses my shoulders
As silky sand squishes between my toes.
Waves of a brilliant blue lap at my bare feet
And the water is cool and refreshing on my skin.
I am conquered by the peace and tranquility;
The ocean has always soothed me.
But something is missing today…
Something I have left behind me.
But what?
As I ponder this, I see a hermit crab scuttle away.
I peer across the retreating sea,
Deep in thought as I continue on my saunter.
At last, I determine what is missing from my life—
And it is you.
I close my eyes for a moment and it seems like an eternity.
I try to block my emotions and  open my sad brown eyes again,
Letting a tear dance down my sunburned cheek.
Gazing at the sun and sea a final time before nightfall,
I turn my back and flee to my private hell
In my home by the heavenly ocean.
There I will sit in the darkness of my room—
My sanctuary…
Envisioning you and I and what we could be
As I cry myself to sleep…
Never needing or wanting to wake again.

© Copyright 2001 Sara - All Rights Reserved
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
1 posted 2001-01-10 03:48 AM


Suga_Baby: How could you ever have been embarassed by having a piece like this published? This is brilliant. The descriptive words created such vivid scenes in my head.

"I am conquered by the peace and tranquility;
The ocean has always soothed me."
These two lines were quite good. Water always seems to have a soothing effect on people. Nice style and a constant flow.

Fantastic Work!

~AF~


"Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement."
Christopher Fry


Melster
Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia
2 posted 2001-01-10 04:50 AM


This is a beautiful peice...  Great work...  the beach and oceans are always a great inspirations for poetry...  

Melz!!

Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-01-10 01:20 PM


Me gusto este poema mucho. Lo que me interesa es el mar dentro del poema. Lo que el mar representa......estuvo bien fino!
Sigues asi!


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

GirlsBestFriend
Member
since 2000-12-27
Posts 71
Planet Earth
4 posted 2001-01-10 05:41 PM


feeling the water like I was there with you! let us read more of your nice poems here.

~lotsa luv


"Isn't it funny how to the world you are nothing? But then to one person..you're the world"

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
5 posted 2001-01-11 01:24 PM


I love the mood you create at the beginning of the poem, the ending isn't so pleasant, but the contrast in the moods really makes your point.  nice job on this one

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

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