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Teen Poetry #3
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Cement Hell
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Cement Hell |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico 
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Cement Hell: My cement hell of love. Ciggar butts and paper rappers Along side a grassy bliss With trees and squirrels. Weeping willows in my way. Walking without a destination. The bright moon guides me, Yet I choose another path. Constant change within mind. I have no solid thoughts. Holes in my cement hell. A torn up soul treads beneath. Pathetic tears run down my spine. I love a woman who hates me. Running through life tripping constantly. It's how I spend my time in my cement hell.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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| © Copyright 2001 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Wow... a powerful piece, DD. Difficult to examine... This is my feeble shot at an interperetation-- The cement hell is where you stay, your current state. It is called "cement" because it is solid and unbreakeable, or because it is cold, i'm not sure. It is the predicament you are in. Is this right? ( i don't spend much time taking poems to bits like this, i usually just write 'em. Nobody i know is too into poetry, this forum is my first real time sharing with other people, exchanging thoughts and pieces, so I'm a little unsure about my interperetation. This is just how it seemed to me.) So am I close? |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Great Poem as usual Dopey!! Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
This is so sad!!  But it was well-written, good job  |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
This one is sad. Very well written though. I actually understand most of the symbolism in this on eI think... I at least at a shallow level. I'm sure to the artist they have much deeper meaning.. Thanks for the great read. I hope you stop tripping and are able to just fly through life some time soon. Jason "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
"cement hell" well, i sorta agree with Allan Riverwood, but we cant all go through life without tripping, can we?i dont know. Pathetic tears run down my spine. I love a woman who hates me. Running through life tripping constantly. It's how I spend my time in my cement hell." that was my favorite verse. what a way to end your piece. as u say "keep your head up, mmmmmkay?"lol Regina |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Allan, you're basically right. The cement hell was an analogy I used to symbolize my predicament, this being my being heart broken. Stone heart, stone soul......nothing but hard, concrete nothingness. I was walking a sidewalk and was observing how the sidewalk was cutting through the grass...the grass and trees were like...nature and everything good. And the sidewalk was this man-made structure used to cut through this goodness for our own benefits. I used this to symbolize how my cement hell was all in due part to this girl building this sidewalk over my grassy bliss. So yea, you were on the track. I'm glad you tried to delve, not many people do. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Author Unknown Member
since 2001-01-05
Posts 57Linn MO USA |
intense emotions in this man good job on writting it *dont let life bring you down, dig thru the ditches and deck it in the face and reclaim your place*---Kyle Finn....2001 |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I got the basic meaning of this but not the deeper one until I read the replies. Your other poem tonight seemed pretty easy to figure out, what's up with that? Finally we get a picture of you, hey. keep up the writing. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
wow.. that was pretty deep i also didnt think that it was that thoughtful until i read what allan said.. this was incredible... keep it up bro best wishes ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
love poems that make me think but reading your poems makes me feel like pulling my hair out it's either that, or i'm already loosing my hair cause of thinkin too much they're so deep, maybe im just to shallow i know now to read your poems late, cause somewhere in the replies, there is an explanation  thanks for the brain freeze Dopes j/kthanks for sharing I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
yet again love's cold but firey hand at work, love and hate share the same line and can swith sides without a sign. Well at least the pain of life brings great inspirations to even greater writers. Keep it up. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Dopey: This is a really deep poem. I haven't read anything for a few days and this was a good was to come back in. I didnt get to see the one where you were writing about suicide. Pity, I might have been able to relate to it.  The title of this piece is interesting. "Holes in my cement hell. A torn up soul treads beneath." I liked this part quite alot. It just hit me with emotion...pure emotion. Bravo. ~AF~ "Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement." Christopher Fry |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Dopey: that's awesome!!!!!!! Three thumb up (maybe, but not quite possible) Anyways, everyone's stuck in their own cement hell sometime. If I were stuck in a cement hell, mine would probably be padded walls and padded celings with straight jackets. g2g. I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be great, to put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
hey javvie.. i felt like crying when i read this one...*sniffs*... bu yeah i liked the analogy that you gave on the cement and the grass..good contrast.. loved the poem.. |
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