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Teen Poetry #3
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The Unloved... i want to put PLEASE READ, but a moderator wrote about it :) he he he
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Teen Poetry #3
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The Unloved... i want to put PLEASE READ, but a moderator wrote about it :) he he he
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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The Unloved... i want to put PLEASE READ, but a moderator wrote about it :) he he he |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Love is unequivocally the architect of one’s sorrow and misery The reason for a never ending constant flow of suffering Resolve, to this a continuous stabbing of undeniable depression Reality’s version of veniality and damnation The spell that casts a curse to carry the fires of hell Even just a glimpse is actually earning you the right to grieve Hard to believe, but hypocrisy is indeed what it seems to be So, tell me this with truthfulness Am I not to claim even an ounce of happiness? Do believe when I say that I actually try Either I’m foolish enough to believe in such change, Or that it’s just my plain stupidity that drives me to I too try to dispute it with my own claims of innocence... That in an attempt to cheat or hustle life’s cruel intentions Though it seems like time’s hands are already most certain A conclusion that such an assertion is that of no merit at all So, how am I to justify this, my excuse for an existence? Or is it that I’m in destiny’s list for the process of extinction ? For I am the unwanted, The unworthy, And most certainly The unloved.... I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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| © Copyright 2001 acire - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Amazing. You have a true talent. I like how you intellectualized your existence this way. Difficult to comment upon this poem, it is. I can empathize with your feelings of worthlessness... the unwanted, the unloved... i often feel the same way. But if it produces such a poetic skill in you, then maybe you should be appreciative of poor fortune. ^_^ |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Nice job on this one! As I said in the email...this was spectacular! Very complex and very deep, but simplistically so. Kudos! Vreni |
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Author Unknown Member
since 2001-01-05
Posts 57Linn MO USA |
intense, absolutely awesome enjoyed it..;o) *dont let life bring you down, dig thru the ditches and deck it in the face and reclaim your place*----Kyle Finn.....2001 |
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LoveAll Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 148B'dale, USA |
This is really amazing..and like someone said, intellectual. You have a true talent. Just remember that you are never unloved because of God,He loves us more than we could ever know! God Bless and Keep Smiling  |
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LoveAll Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 148B'dale, USA |
This is really amazing..and like someone said, intellectual. You have a true talent. Just remember that you are never unloved because of God,He loves us more than we could ever know! God Bless and Keep Smiling Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:3 |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I have to agree with the others, this is a strongly worded poem and it's very good. You don't have to put please read, people will read good writing like this. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Bravo Acire! Beautifully pondered, I really enjoyed the flow, and the way you penned so many of the endless questions we all struggle with over time ... really well done! (and by the way ... you are much loved by this poetic family) ...  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Acire, this is without a doubt a wonderful poem of yours. A true emotional piece. I loved it. However, I am going to have to highly disagree with the first line. "Love is unequivocally the architect of one’s sorrow and misery" See in the last line you said that you were most certainly the unloved. This contradicts your claim that LOVE is the cause of one's sorrow and misery because you're implying that the fact you are unloved is what makes you miserable and sorrowful, not love itself. I can agree that maybe with the coming of love, certain opposite reactions could occur to make love diminish within itself causing a blackhole emotion, or a sparked moment of lacking love. I disagree with the thought that LOVE causes pain because love, in pure form, is 100% good. There is not one ounce of sorrow in LOVE. So where does the sorrow and misery lie? It lies within the emotion of LACKING LOVE, or UNREQUITED LOVE, or being SEPERATED from LOVE. Thus, yea, and therefore uh huh. I hope you take my opinions into consideration.....if it were me writing i'd add the word UNREQUITED before the word love because love, simply, is not bad at all. *bows and walks out of the building*  < !signature--> I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily [This message has been edited by Dopey_Dope (edited 01-05-2001).] |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Dopes --- you have a very good point there, but i think you misunderstood the poem a bit. At least in my own point of view. But when you brought it up, i noticed that there is another way of reading the poem. You opened my eyes to it, so i do agree with your explanation too. But hear my side of it "Hard to believe, but hypocrisy is indeed what it seems to be" That line in the poem, I'm actually talking about me as a person being hypocritical with my definitions on love. I'm not using it as another definition for love. Do you see what I mean? And from that point on in the poem, I've turned it 180 degrees to me saying that I actually still want to be. That it actually causes more happiness than sorrow. That's why I say that I still try and say that I'm still looking for happiness which in turn, based on my hypocrisy, is actually what I base love as. Do you understand now. I hope I've shed some light to the subject matter *Drags Dopey back into the building* I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
This is a great poem, you have expressed well and I enjoyed reading this one throughly!! Good Work!! Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
thanks everyone for reading and saying you like my poem i appreciate it a lot. it means a lot to me knowing that people like my writing again thanksI see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
wow... wow... yeah *L* this is a truely amazing and beautiful poem nuff said!! i hope to see more soon!!!~*Justine*~ |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
ACIRE!!!! YOU DA BOMBIEST!!!!!! ~Carly inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog... |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
nice job acire your words inspire me to write because of their imprint in my head... beautiful writing my friend best wishes ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Thanks all....you are all so kind you are the reason I love sharing in Passions I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
is this the continuation?? --oh..and were u there Sat? Cause i looked for a guy in a yellow jacket but i was runnin around backstage and couldnt see...u werent tho were u? ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
nice touch. I don't believe anyone could say that they know what it's like to be a teenager unless they know what pain is. You do good work and you are right, love is a good feeling but the end result is pain, life always ends in death. Anyways enough of that. Keep on writing!! |
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
Wow....that was great!! You are an excellent poet, and don't ever think otherwise!!! You are awesome!! Great job on this one, keep it up!! Luv Always, Priscilla How come it is so easy for a person to say "I hate you" and mean it, but it is so difficult for someone to say "I love you" and really mean it???? |
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Greeneyes617 Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329Arkansas |
Totally AWESOME! Good job. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
DQ --- hey sweets, no this is not the comtinuation, it'll come soon All --- thanks for all the wonderful replies I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Wowsers, Acire. Even though you hardly share anymore, you have this talent that is truly outstanding. You have blown me away with this piece. Many questions and important emotions/experiences are raised. You are not unloved, silly. There will be someone for you eventually. Great piece. So good it's going to the library. It certainly earnt a place in there. ~AF~ "Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?" |
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Archives
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Teen Poetry #3
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The Unloved... i want to put PLEASE READ, but a moderator wrote about it :) he he he
