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Teen Poetry #3
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| Teen Poetry #3 |
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reality |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa 
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waves of strangers flood on by upon a concrete river walk so rare to ever catch their eye rarer still to hear them talk a flow of lives that cross and still can not appease their troubled minds they do the work that others will to live within their self set binds some try to swim against the stream to follow hearts and not demands they struggle with a dying dream and watch as it escapes their hands only to find that they must learn to fall back down within the flow it matters not for what they yearn only what others told them so |
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| © Copyright 2001 Kevin Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
The depth in this is wonderful Kevin! Not only did I enjoy the sentiments, but the structure and flow was exceptional. Perhaps I relate so well with it ... still swimming against the stream and refusing to fall back into that concrete sidewalk flow. Excellent descriptive verse, I really enjoyed this!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Kevin: This is a great piece. It is so easy to identify with. There is so much emotion is such a small amount of time. I love it. ~AF~ "Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement." Christopher Fry |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Excellent job on the poem, you have such a great style, it flows well and reads easily. And your poems have a real meaning. Thanks for posting this "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Kevin this was great. The flow and scheme of it all was great. The meaning was so true, i agree with it all. Hopefully those who swim against the swim down drown in the under-toe  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Nice. Nice flow, nice message, nice everything. Kudos on a job well done! Vreni |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
I'll go with D. All of the above Great job kevin. Great thaughts and ideas expressed in this poem. "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
i totally agree with you i liked everything about this poem and i read it really clearly great job best wishes ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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X_me_X Junior Member
since 2000-08-18
Posts 37 |
wow that wuz deep keep writin this is good stuff!! ~All is forgiven but NEVER forgotten~ |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
wow, such a response thanks guys |
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