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Teen Poetry #3
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In Need of You
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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In Need of You |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair 
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I don't know whats happening to my writing, but this is as simple as it gets. This is terrible. "In Need of You" Help, I am feeling gloom Lift my heart off this table Hurry, I need you soon Just to say, I am able Words comfort in many ways Boring nights control me now Give me calmness in my days Please, you must show me how I'm in need of you to regain myself I want you to be along my side To let me know, love is wealth And to teach me to trust my mind Forward on, we will soon see Progress evolves finally at last A change will occur inside of me And help me forget about my past Jeremy D. Raulinaitis 12/31 "A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nice one here jer.......i liked it very much. The flow is wonderful and i surely hope that you do attain this woman of yours. Good luck pal.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
This is very sweet. Sometimes simple is good, and if that's the way you are writing currently, don't knock it, there is a reason, a method to the madness, it's far from being a bad style of poetry, I love it. Good luck on the chicky.  xoxo Jenn "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? |
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DreamerGrl27 Member
since 2000-10-29
Posts 142 |
This poem was really nice...I liked it. Simple is good, sometimes better than complex. I hope everything works out okay. |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
this is SO not terrible! it perfectly discribes the situation many of us have been in, this is a great work keep it up!~*Pixie*~ |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
This is a wonderful poem. i love it. i hope you don't consider this horrible, that would be like Einstein considering well nevermind we won't go there. LOL Keep it up i like your style of thinking, it is expressed in your poems. *do not offer yourself to the world, let the world offer itself to you*--Me :) ~*Remember your roots, my friend they're right down below, because |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
get happy! Great poem!~*Skyfire *~Always Canadian*~ ~*~I used to be an idiot, but I'm all right now~*~ |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Good Work Jeremy, reading your work is always pleasant... till next time... Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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Isabelle Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 176Indiana |
This was real good. I like reading your writings keep it up. Jeanna "Poetry is the music of the souls, and above all, of great and feeling souls." ~Voltaire~ |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
thanks everyone... My new years resolution is to write more and better poems! Your comments help me achieve that... HAPPY NEW YEAR! ~JDR "A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I liked this one, not for anyone one reason, it's just really good. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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