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Teen Poetry #3
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Uncertain
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Uncertain |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC 
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Dang girl, looks like you've done it again I tried to move on but you laid my heart wide open You left long ago and took your love with you And each moment since I have continued to miss you I've tried to stay friends and still keep my distance But your smile and charm break down my resistance All I do is see you and I begin to reminisce On our time together and every single kiss I've hidden my feelings to my very own eyes I've cast it away somewhere deep down inside It's not your fault that these feelings resurface You wouldn't do anything to hurt me on purpose I have put you on such a pedestal I feel so low and like such a fool I should leave and try to fix my life But this problem is like a double-edge knife On either side I'm gonna get cut I leave, things get better, but I don't know if I could do without Your friendship, it's what it's all about I don't know if it's too important or if I'm just scared to lose it But I know it's essential in my life and I'd never abuse it But it's killing me, and I just can't see what to do I don't know, but are all these problems because of you I'm ashamed, I'm afraid, I'm confused, I'm hurtin' But I'm too afraid to change so I'll remain uncertain < !signature--> "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine [This message has been edited by LoveBug (edited 12-26-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jon - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a really powerful piece. You portray your emotions very well. Love can make us very uncertian, can't it? PS- You probably noticed that I edited this for profanity. This is a family website with members as young as 9 and readers that are even younger, so we like to keep it clean. You are a very talented writer, and you don't need profanity in this piece to make it great. Thanks for posting. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Sorry about that LoveBug. I wrote it a while back and didn't think about proofreading before I posted.I'll make sure to watch it next time. Jon |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Jon, it was good. nice power to it....im glad i saw someof your poetry.....lol Regina |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hi. I really liked the way this was written, it had a good vibe. Great job. ~Carly WhY ShOuLd I Be hypnotized by someone else's lies WhY ShOuLd I Take time and pride in what someone else believes... |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Wonderful poem Jon.  The part was great...it just said it all and said it well."I'm ashamed, I'm afraid, I'm confused, I'm hurtin' But i'm too afraid to change so I'll remain uncertain" Live and let live. ~*SeLf PrOcLaImEd FrEaK oF nAtUrE*~ |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
This is written very well in my opinion. I love the ending of it! I don't know what else to say, this is just a really good poem! "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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kimmy Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 98 |
wow this was realy great..good job on this..i really loved the way you ended it too.. |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
It is always hard moving on when you are still great friends with an ex lover, there are harder things in life though, like looking at your child and all you see is them... but you have expressed the situation well... good luck for the future!! Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I think this is the first time I've read a poem of yours, and I'll tell you this..."i'm very impressed" I'm glad I decided to read it, it would have been my loss if I didn't. Beautifully written.....keep sharing I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Misty Blue Junior Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 44 |
Interesting poem. I really liked it.Try and take time to read some of my stuff sometime. I've been gone for a while but I'm back. Stay Tru |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Uh... I'm not sure what to say. I know this is gonna sound stupid, but that's just made me realise how my guy feels about me. I was kinda in the dark, but you described it perfectly. Wow. Really powerful. Took my breath away... And I'm being serious!! Keep writing! ~*Skyfire *~Always Canadian*~ ~*~I used to be an idiot, but I'm all right now~*~ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was great. I liked it a lot. You've enlightened people and made their jaws drop in awe. Good piece.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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