navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » Photograph
Teen Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic Photograph Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
peanogrl83
Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202


0 posted 2000-12-16 07:24 PM


I stoop to new lows w/ each new piece...
Vreni

Photograph

A bubble pauses, poised midair,
Reflections of your face so fair.
But it is different, not one I know,
Unlike the you of times ago.
Did we change in the silence long,
Or were we strangers all along?
I stroke your face, reminiscing
Wonder if it’s you I’m missing.
Aware that it is but memory,
Of how conditions used to be.
If only I could touch your skin,
Feel the warmth from within.
Content to hold but a frame alas
As I caress the hardened glass.



[This message has been edited by peanogrl83 (edited 12-16-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 peanogrl83 - All Rights Reserved
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
1 posted 2000-12-16 09:44 PM


This is very powerful and well written.  The sadness is very poignant.  I think you've done extremely well with this!  Keep it up!  

*Krista Knutson*

"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar."
Helen Keller


IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

2 posted 2000-12-16 11:52 PM


Good work on this one.  A photograph can stir up quite a bit of memories.
Thx for sharing this piece
IsGona

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
3 posted 2000-12-17 12:38 PM


wow~this was awesome. and ure not stooping, ure climbin., keep up the great work, ure poems are awesome

~!*DQ*!~


¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2000-12-17 12:41 PM


you know this poem made me teary eyed.  I did exactly the same thing today. I took someones pic on my end table, kissed it, hugged it and thought of the times.  I need you to teach me how to write this way.  I'm so seriously in envy.  If envy or jealousy is a sin, I'd sin again and again just to read your poems...i love it

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
5 posted 2000-12-17 03:02 PM


You did a good job of writing this one, pictures can bring back memories so easily.  Thanks for sharing this

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2000-12-17 09:14 PM


this was amazing, but hey don't miss me. You know you can always touch the likes of me Vreni love.......Mua mua! much love.
Wonderful piece. I admired this one.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
7 posted 2000-12-17 10:36 PM


nice work, i loved the meter n rhyme in this piece

jerem r

"...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I have a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~


Melster
Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia
8 posted 2000-12-18 01:45 AM


Photographs - capture memories - normally of good times had.  The problem is that when things get bad the photos are still there and when you go back and look at them, then they bring back the memories of the good times only this time those good times hurt!  I hate photographs and this is the reason!  

Melz!

P.S.  You have expressed well though and the poem is good!!


Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u, they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know and you will see the way to

apsara
Member
since 2000-11-09
Posts 70

9 posted 2000-12-18 03:32 AM


Its weird how when you look back on the tears, they make you laugh but when you look back on the laughs it makes you cry. Photographs makes me do that too. Sob. sob. Excellent work expressing it.

apsara

peanogrl83
Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202

10 posted 2000-12-18 09:00 PM


Thanks for all the replies and compliments (once again, unfounded)!!

acire - Oh bother, STOP ENVYING MY WRITING, KID! It's a practical impossibility to envy someone who has less than you do....wait, that's not true...especially in the context of pain..but in that of talent it is impossible, at least!! Uh oh, acire, I've now entered Vreni's Vegetative state to contemplate envy of less...oh bother....

Dopey- :.P Thank you dear, but I don't understand WHY it's admired....(just doesn't make sense to me... ;.P)

Mel and apsara - good points about the oddities of human cognitive tendencies concerning photos. :.)


Thanks again!

Vreni

[This message has been edited by peanogrl83 (edited 12-18-2000).]

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
11 posted 2000-12-19 09:59 AM


Vreni --- you just don't know how highly I look up to you and your poems.  With everyone else, I see their probabilities, but with you I see nothing but possibilities that of which is boundless.  I do admire you more for handing out compliments to others such as me. Good words that of which may never be attained.

I've been trying to analize your style in writing.  I've always though of it to be that of the great poet's. And what amazes me in the end is that your poem's simplicity is actually what makes it so complex. Or maybe I'm wrong to analize it at all. As, I've told someone, "It's embarassing to say such a thing... for I must just not have the eyes for greatness or it's just of my plain stupidity and ignorance that I don't understand."  But I do understand your poems, I'm just trying to break it down and analize it.  I probably am not making any sense at all    


I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
12 posted 2000-12-20 06:29 PM


I see that i'm not the only one who fully appreciates vreni's work. Vreni is a troubled writer. She honestly believes that she is bad. As you can all see from the proof on this monitor above, she's quite the opposite. I love her writing and encourage more people to read her poems with careful attention. This is a future somebody!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
13 posted 2000-12-21 07:08 PM


I see that Dopes has agree with me in this matter.

Vreni --- in simple terms, "you are very talented"

Don't even tell me how much better i am, cause i know for a fact that I'm not.  And that's not only what I think, but also what I feel.  

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » Photograph

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary