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Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2000-12-14 10:22 PM

NOTE: I guess tonight i'm just getting rid of a few of my BLAH-crap poems..........I hope at least some of you have fun with these.....Once again, BLAH!

Pan of Thought:

Moving along the road of past.
Thinking of an unborn thought.
Clouds of never that cannot last.
Pure love is what I was always taught.

Running through the forest of time.
Unknown land sarcastically viewed.
Wishing for a full blown mind.
The world of love, the world renewed.

Grains of sand scooped from life's pan.
I've seen the light, but lost the way.
Wandering through darkness was not my plan.
Dying without thought, living without say.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

IsGona
Senior Member

since 2000-07-14

Posts 723

1 posted 2000-12-14 10:37 PM

Well this didn't have the usual flow I am use to from you, but besides that I thaught it was great. I would not say it is blah by any means.
IsGona

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

Minister of Dissonance
Junior Member

since 2000-12-10

Posts 20

2 posted 2000-12-14 11:26 PM

interesting imagery, focus slightly skewed during progression

*scream*
the great dissonant one

jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

3 posted 2000-12-14 11:30 PM

pretty cool, i wouldnt say its blah either but it was still a good one.

Jeremy R.

"...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I have a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~

Melster
Member

since 2000-12-09

Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia

4 posted 2000-12-15 05:21 AM

Yeah I agree - It is a good poem - just gott afigure out the meaning of it is all!!

Love Melz!!

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

5 posted 2000-12-16 02:44 PM

Hey. I too thought the rhythm was a bit iffy, but the poem was not blah!! "Eh", maybe, but not "blah". Tootelz.

~Carly

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

6 posted 2000-12-17 11:34 AM

This poem was good, but nothing special. *cowers in fear from Dopey* But thanks for sharing it

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

7 posted 2000-12-17 09:42 PM

*slams guitar on Lake's head* haha no i appreciate your honesty pal.....even i know it licks. Thanks for the reply though.....and everybody else......thanks!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

apsara
Member

since 2000-11-09

Posts 70

8 posted 2000-12-18 04:32 AM

Nah its not a blah. Liked the graphic stuff.

Clouds of never that cannot last.
Grains of sand scooped from life's pan.

Definitely not a blah.

apsara

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

9 posted 2000-12-18 10:56 AM

it was good..
regina

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