Teen Poetry #3 |
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I am Hated |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Dopey, this is also for you - it's quite similar to the style of my earlier work. Still sucks. lol Vreni I am hated I cannot speak, for I am hated, Silent am I, my destiny’s slated. Shaking now, no words leave my lips, I take your beating from verbal whips. I cannot cry, for I am hated My sobbing leaves your cause inflated. Tears held back, I choke on smiles, A mask I wear that beguiles. I cannot think, for I am hated, Hungry thoughts must be sated. I alone am witness to my mind, Rambling thoughts, my sanity unwinds. I cannot hope, for I am hated, Despair runs rampant, unabated. I live in constant fear and pain, Laughter a sound I now disdain. I cannot love, for I am hated, A heart lays dormant, emaciated. Incapable of passion’s long embrace, Cold stone now stands in its place. You will thrive, for I am hated, With my pain, you are elated. But don’t forget how quickly I learn, Soon your hate, I shall return. |
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LoveBug![]()
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
"You will thrive, for I am hated, With my pain, you are elated. But don’t forget how quickly I learn, Soon your hate, I shall return." This is a very impressive piece. You do very well with every style you try, and you should really give yourself more credit. Thanks for sharing. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I agree with LoveBug, this definately is a very impressing piece. I liked it a lot, especially the ending because its very true..like you basically said..what goes around, comes around. Great poem...absolutely loved it! ![]() |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
OOOOOOOoooooooo!!!! This was simply amazing! The flow in this one almost elevated me into utter ecstacy! *clears throat*....ahem....anyway! I thought this completely rocked. The whole style and format, the ryhme scheme and hell, just everything about it........i loved it! One of your best! ONE OF YOUR BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehe....more more dame mas! Quiero mas! ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
This was so awsome. It read so perfectly. I loved the way it ended to. great job IsGona "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa |
Wow, this poem is great! Wonderfull ryhme and rhythm, great flow...i love everything about your poem, and sorry, I fail to see how it sucks... ![]() Keep it up Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice! |
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kimmy Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 98 |
i agree with the others...this was an awesome poem..i loved it...i hope to read more like this... |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
This does NOT "suck!" I liked it very much! And I can sort of relate, too! GREAT JOB! ![]() |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
This does NOT "suck!" I liked it very much! And I can sort of relate, too! GREAT JOB! ![]() |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I absolutly love the last stanza, it's fantastic. You did a great job of writing this one, make sure to keep posting for us ![]() "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
.................... Wow................. ................................. |
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LoveAll Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 148B'dale, USA |
You are surely a talented poet! I pray that you don't feel like this often, because you are not hated by far. There is a God who loves you every moment of the day. No matter what u say or do could ever take Jesus's love from you. Keep writing babe! God Bless and Keep Smiling ![]() Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:3 |
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Dean Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 120Canada |
Great poem! I love it! Your not hated I like ya!! I love what you can produce with your highly inteligent mind, something I hope to truley find! Deano "Live to love or why live at all" Deano :) |
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apsara Member
since 2000-11-09
Posts 70 |
great format, loved your style..... WOW! apsara |
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Allysa![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
wow, you moved me~ Anyways, this is really excellent! bye! I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be great, to put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad. |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
simply amazing. words cannot describe how i feel about your poems. you should know that by now. and i know you do ![]() I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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branden726![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Good writting, i have read so many great writtings tonite keep it up! "i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw" |
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Bright_Eyes Junior Member
since 2000-12-22
Posts 29Plymouth, MN |
I loved it! My favorite was how you said...I cannot love/ I cannot think/ I cannot cry/ I cannot speak....because you are hated....WONDERFUL STYLE! It really makes us think how it affects every part of your being... the rhyming was impressive...Great poem (read: doesn't suck!) Can't wait to see more. |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
HOW CAN YOU THINK IT SUCKS!!!ITS ABOVE AND BEYOND!!!ONE OF YOUR BEST. oops caps was on. if i could write like that!!!wow!!!! Regina |
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