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Teen Poetry #3
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Through the Eyes of a Stranger, Looking Up at the Impossible
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Through the Eyes of a Stranger, Looking Up at the Impossible |
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Lucius Cade Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235Saskatchewan |
On a cracked, dusty stool I make a decision, at 1 in the morning with my future invisioned..... In the days that follow the ever darkening days..... a breeding ground for insanity will erupt in my mind Across the counter, the bartender, laughs at my choice for he knows what I am thinking...... Explosions that will crack my once calm rationale are inevitable..... I will feel my nerves slipping Slipping down to my fists which will no longer be pacified..... Now with uncontrolled urges They inflict pain against my will The bartender writes something down on a napkin. He slides it to me and says "Thats all that will happen, if you act on this thought." I squint to make out the scribbles, they read........ The real victom is you in a state of depression beyond theropy..... You'll play out your obsession With all the strength I can muster I ask the bartender..... Do you think its all worth it? "No" Yeah your right, so pour me another. --------------- Hi, this poem doesnt represent me or my life at all. I am not an alcoholic. I just thought it would be fun to actually think as one would who was trying to quit drinking. How impossible the task would seem to them...... Anyways, just wanted to clear that up. This style is wierd, I have never done anything like this really. I hope you like it. < !signature--> Lucidity is the answer to all problems [This message has been edited by Lucius Cade (edited 11-17-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lucius Cade - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I actually did like this style a lot and I'm glad to hear you're not going through this problem. You did a really good job on this poem, I like it. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
I like it. I haven't seen anything quite like it before. That's a good thing. I thaught of writing a simular poem, about smoking... I'm trying to quit. you did a good job describing the fight of will against temptation. IsGona "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN" ~Hatebreed~ |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
This was great, I really liked how you described that longing feeling..Terrific words and a terrific poem. ~Carly A word is dead When it is said Some say, I say it just Begins to live That day. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
LC- WOW! This is excellent!!  You've done a great job of expressing these emotions... and the struggle within a person in this situation. Well done! Take care, -vicky |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hey i liked the style of this one. Very good!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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