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Teen Poetry #3
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Goodbye
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Goodbye |
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Rockhead01 Junior Member
since 2000-06-26
Posts 12Maryland, USA |
Goodbye Now that you love for me Is over with and done The relationship that we had Is a zero on a scale of ten to one The night at the dance Determined to have a good time I kept seeing you with him Then reallized you were no longer mine We had one dance though It felt good to hold you tight But after we went our seperate ways I was lonely the rest of the night Fond memories I have of us Together with no worries at all We were there for each other Just in case the other would fall But as I lay here in bed tonight I think of all these wonderful thoughts Now reallizing you were gone My head pounds and my stomach's in knots So I lie awake tonight With this gun to my head Nicole, I bid you farewell And that's that is to be said *BANG!!!* -I want everyone that reads this poem to know that I am still alive and did not commit this action. I wrote this poem wheni was at the bottom of my depression around Valentine's Day of 2000. Nicole was my girlfriend who dumped me on that night then went out with another guy afer the dance. I felt misserable but am doing much better now. I felt this poem should be shared with all those who have or are going through the same type of situation as I did to say that "life does go on and there will be another day to get your life back on track! I am living proof of this statement!" Thank you all! Dan Make Love Not War |
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| © Copyright 2000 Dan Youngs - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
well DAN this is a really nice poem...except for the "bang" part...that is really sad how that girl did that to you...no girl is worth killing yourself...you now saying...you have your whole life ahead of you...eventually you will meet someone new...who will not treat you the way this girl did...good luck!!! ~IF YOU WANT SOMETHING VERY BADLY~SET IT FREE~IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU~ITS YOURS FOREVER~IF IT DOESNT IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH~ |
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Crystalina123 Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 228 |
Dan, Oh my goodness my dear, I am so sorry things turned out this way for you and the girl!! My ex broke up with me last September, anyway when our prom arrived last May I knew he was taking someone else so I got my hottest guy friend (who I do like, and who is everything my ex wasn't) to go with me to prom and we had a great time. As much as I enjoyed the prom with my guy friend, I enjoyed the look on my ex's face even more when he saw us dancing together. I know, I know dumb and stupid but it got the point across and it got him back for hurting me. Ok, completely differnet situation but that poem made me think of it. All in all and good poem - I really liked the rhyme scheme. Love, Crystak Maybe God has us meet a few wrong people so that when we meet the right one we can truly appreciate the gift. |
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Jacman Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291Dwight Il, US |
I especially liked your poem because,I can totally relate to how you were feeling. I have all to often been to the point where I no longer wanted to live. I'm glad you didn't follow through with it because you really are a talented writer. Keep it up dude. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Thank you for sharing this poem with us. I'm so glad that you saw the truth before it was too late, and I hope that this helps everyone realize that life is always worth living. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
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TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa |
Great poem. I don't wanna sound wierd or anything, but I actually liked the way you ended the poem, the illusion of killing yourself. One can see it as a next step, killing the old person, to make way for someone new, someone who won't be held back by anything. Awesome poem. Keep it up. Waves...amazing hey? Wind blowing over smoothe ocean water creates shear. The longer the wind blows, and the futher the fetch, the more energy gets transferred from the wind to the water. What started off as a breeze 1 000km away, ends up as a glass-faced barrel at some far off beach. |
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Snickers Member
since 2000-05-25
Posts 88East Haddam, CT |
I'm so sorry that u had to go through this. Life brings alot of pain, I know all too well, but if u'r patient the joy will come and u've got to appreicate the good things. Great poem, and I'm so glad that u didn't let this event end your life. Keep writing, and living.  ~<3 Alwayz~ **Nikki** ~*~*~*~*"We can complain because roses have thorns, or we can rejoice because thorns have roses." *~*~*~*~ |
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LIL.MAMA Junior Member
since 2000-06-26
Posts 32 |
HEY THAT WAS GOOD KEEP THEM COMING I WOULD LIKE TO READ MORE THAT'S JUST LIEK WHAT HAPPEND TO ME SO I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!! SARAH EMAIL ME SOMETIME |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
ok, well I'm going to say a few things here. One, I'm really very sorry that you felt like this, as a suicide victim myself, I know what it feels like to be all alone. Although it wasn't a lover who left me so distraught(it was my dad) I hope that you are ok now and definately know that you have other things to worry about besides unrequited love gone bad. I hope you and everyone else sees that relationships, no matter how much in love you are, are NOT worth losing your life over! Keep your chin up!! Love Always~*~Jessica~*~ p.s. If nothing seems well worth living for, then it sure can be worth dying for either. ~*~Love is the product of our dicontentment with ourselves~*~ ~*~SMILE! It makes your butt shine!~*~ |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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