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Teen Poetry #3
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Bitter Eruption
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Bitter Eruption |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
Withdrawn into a protective ball, Red rain weeps outside You're the reflection within prison four walls, Dam has collapsed Under violent tide of fury You are swept towards a dreary, Teary horizon. Those thorns, Which you meticulously shrouded your soul Aren't much use in this hot bitter larva Melting defensive venomous menace, Baring your shameful, shrivelled innards, The bleeding, beaten wounds. Desperate pleading shrieks. What did those twisting web of thorns achieve? Who bothered to touch and bleed upon you? "Controlling my feelings for too long.... And forcing our darkest souls to unfold... And pushing us into self-destruction...." *~Muse*~ |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lani_DarkOne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Hey, This is really great...I can't think of any words to say! Great job  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hey great poem. Especially the last two lines in the form of questions. I loved it. A masterpiece in it's own form! Great job you have a lot of talent!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
This was a great poem, kinda hard to think of things to say about it but it was awesome! Curly "So many tears i've cried, so much pain inside" -Lenny Kravitz |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
Thanks for replying everyone...though it's not exactly an uplifting piece.. "Controlling my feelings for too long.... And forcing our darkest souls to unfold... And pushing us into self-destruction...." *~Muse*~ |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
This was good...It may have not been uplifting but it was really good...I liked it...Keep up the good work!!! ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Dark and thoughtful words...nicely done! *Krista Knutson* "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." Helen Keller |
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