Teen Poetry #3 |
when I found out |
StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
legs that shake but refuse to move like George resisting a bath eyes that bleed tears of shame like jenny when she found out Arms that reach but can not attain like a heart that falls apart hands that tremble and faill to grab like grandpa when he tried to save her teeth that chatter and tell my fear like the wind up ones that always seemed so fake toes that are frozen and keep me in place like the night when I fell in the snow ears that hear too much and break the heart like today when I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then *Being an angel doesn't mean having a halo or wings, it means doing the right thing and wanting to make a difference* |
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© Copyright 2000 Jessica Lynn - All Rights Reserved | |||
Nikkisweet Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 183Tx, Dallas |
I'm not really sure what this poem is talking about. I have a little idea that you are talking about breaking up with someone or losing someone...not sure. It was really good though and filled with emotion. ~Guys are like stars, there are millions of them, but only one can make you dreams come true~ |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
This one seemed to be very personal for you, mentioning names and past experiences. I think that's why Nikkisweet and I don't get a full meaning from it. I do think you did a good job though, I understand it in my own way Sometimes we learn things that we don't want to know, it's a hard fact of life. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was so amazing. Seriously I fell in love with this poem. It was great!! I loved how you put names of people in this one. Either you know them or just random names....i think these people are personal characters of yer life though.....but anyway i loved that part of it and the ending was wonderful! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Wow Jess, I think this is one of the best one's you've written. It's great, I think I might print it out...if that's alright with you of course. This is really really great, I guess it has a lot of meaning behind it. Well keep it up ok? Bel |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
Very deep atmosphere..the words you use are so effective in conveying what you're feeling...I'm not sure what it is about, but it sure does appear very important to you.. excellent poem.. "Controlling my feelings for too long.... And forcing our darkest souls to unfold... And pushing us into self-destruction...." *~Muse*~ |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
I got the impression that you lost a best friend or sibling. "When Grandpa tried to save her" It was a touching poem. Sorry if I misinterpreted, that's just what I got out of it... And I thought George was your puppy. I loved it though, good work. Jenn "Guess I'm not smart, I let you un-nerve me, I let you control me; afraid the truth would hurt me, when it's you that hurts me more." TLC |
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curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
This was a great poem, very sad too. but what exactly did you find out, maybe i'm just a little slow or something. awesome poem Curly "So many tears i've cried, so much pain inside" -Lenny Kravitz |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Confused......Very. LoL im in a lot of suspense her just because it didnt seem like this poem ended where is the end?????? lol i Love it, I wish i wouldve came up with somethign so brillient! GREAT JOB! I LOVE IT, AND IM RUNNING OUT OF STUFF TO PUT IN CAPITAL LETTERS SO.....BYE "put the name of the person u love, not in a heart because they alway break but put it in a circle which last forever" |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Branden~I dont know how you could love this poem if you are confused... Jessica~I have a feeling that this is something me and you talked about...And I hope that you cleared everything up with that matter...Cuz your heart is not a toy...And what you have told me sounds like this person is playing with your emotions as if they are a toy... I loved the way that you described everything in your poem...And I am sorry that you are feeling this way...If I could reach out and give you a big hug I would... ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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Jacman Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291Dwight Il, US |
I think I remember this having a different title. Or maybe I'm confused. I'm probably confused. Anyway, its a great poem. Just like all of the rest of your work. soulmate jason I'm not concieted...I'm convinced. |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
hey girlie! Well we arent really into that "tell me all your problems" phase with our friendship, so i dont know exactly what you're talking about here, like ERIN. But i think I have a good idea. But other then that I liked the format and good word usage. Especially the contrasting...excellent penmanship OOo big word lol jk talk to you later hopefully, bye babe* ¤Kiley¤< !signature--> "A true friend can see the truth and pain in your eyes, even when you're fooling everyone else" [This message has been edited by DancinQueen (edited 11-13-2000).] |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
It seems like there are so many hidden meanings in this poem. Like you want to share your emotions at the same time you don't want it to be to personal for everyone to see. What's going on Jess? Erin is totally concerned about you. She keeps asking me if I have talked to you. If you don't like talking to me about your problems, hey Erin there. I know, she tells me she'd like to talk to ya. I wish I could just suffer your pain for you, so you don't have to go thru it. I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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