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Teen Poetry #3
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Feelings
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Feelings |
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ZAOfreak Junior Member
since 2000-11-08
Posts 22CA, USA |
I look at her... she's so close, but so far away. Too often I cry inside, not knowing what to say. I stand oblivious, watching her hurting... Our friendship is falling, no more talking or flirting. My eyes want to flood this place... You can see my grief when you look at my face. Never before, such pain have I felt... Watching a friend die, not able to help. Why did I fall in love, with a soul, unstable... My heart decieves me, is this worth the trouble? I sit here weeping, my mind never sleeping... If I just look at her, my heart starts sinking. I have tried so hard, to cheer her up... Whenever I hug her, she hardens up. There is a big wall, that no one can see... I try so hard to knock it down, My fists start to bleed. I can't help... all hope seems lost... I examine this thing, I count the cost. What is it worth, to wait for her? Is she even the one, which God would prefer? Everyday, another nail in my heart... Another day of pain, I'm falling apart. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Forrest King - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Wow...((tear))I felt this one, truly I did. I'm guessing it was written from a real experience b/c this is such an emotional and honest poem...I really admire the way you are standing by this girl - you sound like a great friend. Sometimes when we're trying to help someone we love b/c, we realize we can't give them all things they really need, and that's hard, isn't it? I guess all you can do is continue to be there. Hope everything works out  ~Kris~ "People tend to leave little pieces of themselves behind, whether they mean to or not." ~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~ ~When it comes to me, you have to stretch your definition of normal a little bit.~ |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
It sounds like you really care about this girl, but it seems like she is having some problems right now. If she is, you need to be there for her, even if it seems that she won't let you in. Don't give up... if you persist, she'll realize that you really care about her, and she'll let you help her. If you really love her, you will be willing to do all of this for her. You describe your feeling well in this poem. You have great talent. Best of luck! False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the difference. |
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xShUgArHiGhx 
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This poem was incredible...after reading this i kinda think this is how my best guy friend feels about me sometimes with my constant unhappiness...i'm shur for the one whose on the outside looking in its a very tiring and i can imagine you start questioning its worth...but he's never given up on me, the more i push him away the tighter his grip...only you can decide if this gurl is worth it... |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I think the others pretty much covered the advice, so I'll just add that this poem was very well done. The feeling behind was shown greatly and it flowed well, good job < !signature-->"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com [This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 11-11-2000).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Lake gets lazy at times hehe...no advice? What a shocker hehe... anyway a wonderful poem and i think i'll be lazy aswell cuz it'd just be this redundant post of how you should do this and that. GReat poem!!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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